


Dreams

by BettyHT



Series: Rosalie [2]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 05:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 27,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16381925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: 2nd story in the Rosalie series.  Adam and Rosalie endure some troubles but decide to make changes. Story starts in Nevada, continues in Mexico and then Australia before a return to Nevada. The first part is dark but serves as the catalyst for the rest and there is more trouble for them to face later.





	Dreams

Dreams

Chapter 1

Adam felt every punch like a knife was being stabbed into him. He knew his ribs must be broken or cracked. He worried that one more blow might displace a rib and kill him outright. He heard the men who were beating him telling each other not to hit him there for that reason. At least that is what he believed they meant when they said over and over to be careful of his ribs. But they kept asking questions that he couldn't answer. He couldn't even understand the questions any more and wondered if he ever had. It was getting darker. He could tell that because the light coming through his tightly closed eyes was less and less. He had trouble breathing and found even taking short shallow breaths was too painful. He couldn't hold his breath though because then his body would demand he breathe in huge gulps of air that sent severe stabbing pains through him the few times he had tried that. He wished and prayed that this whole thing could be a dream, and he would awake to find none of it had happened. But it was no dream. He was sure of that because he knew that if he felt that bad in a dream, he would wake up. He thought that had to be true, and then he heard them say that he might die. He was fairly certain he would never let himself die in a dream so this must be real even if his thinking was foggy and he could see nothing with his eyes squeezed shut against the pain. They didn't want to be held responsible for his death so they were going to leave him alone. First though they must have decided to hide him so that no one would find his body when he died. He felt weights being pressed down on him. He guessed they were piling rocks on him even before he was dead. He was thirsty, hot, having trouble breathing especially with the additional pressure, and in severe pain. He guessed they were correct. He was dying, alone, and couldn't help himself at all.

Next, hands were pulling at him. The weight was gone, but they were making his ribs hurt even more. He must have fallen asleep and they came back for him. He didn't know why, but the pain was excruciating. He tried to fight them but was too weak. They had him partially upright and the questioning started again. What was strange this time was that the voice sounded just like his father. He couldn't imagine his father being involved in anything that caused him pain. He decided to try to relax and let his father work whatever scheme he was working against those who would hurt him. He trusted his father and knew he could count on his help. Then he heard Hoss' voice and then Joe's. That brought tears to his eyes. His family was there to save him. He was sure of that, and he heard them talking more.

"Pa, it looks like he's crying. Maybe he's finally waking up."

"Hoss, I see that. I see it. Adam, son, can you open your eyes? Please?"

It seemed like such a simple request, but when breathing takes all your energy, opening your eyes can be a daunting task. He wanted to do it for his father though so he struggled to open his eyes. He managed to blink a few times but couldn't keep his eyes open. He felt a cool cloth on his forehead and then a spoonful of water in his mouth. He managed to swallow and continue his shallow breathing. He hoped there would be more water and opened his mouth, and another spoonful blessedly washed over his tongue. For several minutes, that was all that happened until he heard his little brother's voice.

"C'mon, Adam, open your eyes for Pa, please. You know how he worries. It would make me feel a lot better too seeing as how I fell asleep while I was watching over you and you fell over on your side. I'm real sorry about that. It's just that we're all so tired."

Adam had to think about that for a moment. He closed his mouth and wondered what it could all mean. Maybe it had been a dream that men were beating him. Maybe he could open his eyes and it would all be over. He struggled then to open his eyes focusing as much energy on that task as he could. He blinked a few times and then was able to keep his eyes open. He saw his father with his brow bunched with worry, and behind him, Hoss and Joe were grinning at seeing him open his eyes. The other thing that was obvious was that waking from the dream, if that was what it had been, did nothing to ease the pain he was enduring. He looked at his father and managed to whisper a question. "What happened?"

"Joe was watching over you and you rolled to your side. The heavy pillows we were using to keep you upright so you could breathe a bit easier fell over on you. Joe heard you struggling to breathe and tried to help, but you struggled against him and he called for us to come help. Son, don't ever scare me like that again. Your lips looked a little blue until we managed to get you back upright. You fought us a bit when we did that so I was hoping that meant you were finally waking up. I can only say how sorry we are that you were hurting because of what we had to do."

Adam frowned a bit so Ben quickly and correctly understood that he needed to know more.

"Almost three days ago, you tried to ride that stallion that had bucked Joe off four days ago and left him with a sprained wrist. Joe couldn't ride any more and asked you to help out breaking the horses that we needed for the Army contract. By the time you got to him, he must have been in a murderous mood. He crashed right through the corral fence, went down, and took you with him. No one could get to you in time to help. We had to put him down. He hurt himself too much by doing what he did. You've got some broken and cracked ribs as you probably already guessed. You got quite a bump on your head, and as Hoss says, bruises on top of bruises."

So it wasn't a dream. He had been hurt, but he had been in the loving care of his family the whole time. He smiled and reached for his father's hand. Hoss moved around to the other side of the bed and touched his shoulder as Joe sat on the side of the bed and rested his hand on his leg. As if by magic, Hop Sing appeared in the doorway with a small cup of broth and another of tea.

"Why you wake up in middle of night? Hop Sing work hard all day and now cooking in middle of night. You better drink all that Hop Sing cook up for you, or Hop Sing go back China and get to sleep all night all nights."

Hop Sing's tirade was how he expressed how worried he had been and how relieved he was to find that Adam was awake. Adam and his family understood that. Hop Sing left after handing the tray to Ben who helped Adam sip the broth and the tea until both cups were empty. With the broth and the tea, Adam mind began to clear as well. The pain was still severe however, and his father asked if he wanted more laudanum. He said no softly and then jerked his attention to each member of his family in order. Someone was missing.

"Where's Rosalie?" Asking that question sent pains stabbing through his ribs and made him drop back against the pillows. His family waited as he got his breathing back under control and fought off the waves of pain assailing him. When he was able to open his eyes again, he stared intently at his father demanding an answer with his look.

At first, Ben didn't want to answer because Adam needed to rest and needed to remain calm too, but he did have a right to know. "She's having your baby. She came over here from your house after you were hurt. Hoss went to get her. She sat with you nearly nonstop for the first day until we practically had to drag her out of here to get some rest. She was back as much as she could but the strain apparently started her labor." Adam looked like he was going to try to move again so Ben put a restraining hand on his shoulder and Hoss pressed down on the other one. "Now, you're in no shape to go help her. Joelle and Doctor Martin are with her. Hop Sing was taking a break when you awoke and he brought you the tea and broth. I'm sure he's been bringing tea to Rosalie as well."

Leaning back into the pillows and willing himself to relax, Adam grimaced with the pain and with the frustration. Finally though he had to smile a sad smile at the irony of it all. He and Rosalie had argued for several months over her working horses at her family's ranch even in her advanced state of pregnancy. He remembered several of the arguments especially the ones that had happened most recently. Living with Rosalie was anything but peaceful, but Hoss said that he would get bored with a peaceful marriage as he was always seeking out challenges. Well he had married a challenging woman but also a very loving, lusty one so the days were never dull. But now his fear that she would have an early labor had come true not because of her activities but mostly because of his.

As Adam lay resting, Hoss caught his father's eye and nodded toward Adam. Both of them knew that he was blaming himself for her early labor. All they could do was to pray that both Rosalie and the baby would be fine. Sadly, prayers are not always answered or certainly not in the way expected.

Laudanum and exhaustion made Adam doze off, but worry and fear made him awake again and again to ask about Rosalie and the baby. They would never have told him that news in the weakened state he was in, but Rosalie's anguished cry was all it took for him to know that something terrible had happened. He struggled as if he intended to get out of bed, but Ben and Hoss kept him there. He struggled to speak and rasped out his question once he was able to breathe more normally again.  
"What happened? Tell me."

Ben took Adam's hand in his. "The baby couldn't take the stress of being born so soon. He was very small and weak. His heart stopped. There was nothing anyone could do. They tried to keep the news from Rosalie because she's very weak now too. She lost a lot of blood having that baby, but like you, she insisted on knowing. You heard her cry out when she was told."

"I want to be with her."

"I'm guessing that she said the same to Doctor Martin, but neither of you is strong enough to console the other or even to be moved from your beds."

Adam was confined to his bed and Rosalie to hers. Hoss softly asked Adam what he wanted him to do with the baby. Adam whispered some instructions to Hoss who left the room returning with the small bundle in his arms. Adam saw his son and nodded. Hours later, Hoss returned to tell Adam that he, Joe, and their father had carried out his wishes. Ben had gone to tell Rosalie what had been done. Adam heard another anguished cry and knew that she felt as he did about not being able to even attend their small son's burial.

Chapter 2

Rosalie was inconsolable for the first day after the loss of their baby. On the second day, she appeared numb. She ate what Hop Sing brought for her, she washed herself and dressed, and then with Ben's help, made her way to Adam's old room that they had shared for many months until their house was finished enough to move in. They had only lived there for a month before they faced this tragedy. Ben helped Rosalie sit in a chair at Adam's side. He noted how anguished his son looked but that Rosalie didn't seem to have any emotional response to him or to anything else. He pulled the door closed to give them some privacy. Later he wished he had not done that for they had needed help and got none.

Almost overcome with emotion, Adam could only say his wife's name as he reached for her hand. His pain had rapidly diminished in the past day as the healing process had progressed enough for his ribs not to send such terrible pains shooting through him when he breathed or moved. Exhausted, he had slept well the night before until awakening at dawn and remembering their loss. Now all he hoped to do was to console his wife. Rosalie however was feeling a complex mix of emotions including guilt over not taking better care of herself and losing the baby. She looked at Adam not accepting his outstretched hand.

"You didn't want me working with horses, but you had to take a foolish chance again. You had to ride the horse that hurt Joe. Then you lay here and I didn't know if you would live or die. I was beside myself with worry. Now we lost our baby too." She didn't say it but the implication was there. She was blaming Adam for the loss of their baby even if she didn't say it or that was the impression that Adam had probably because he had been thinking the same thing since he had heard the terrible news.

"I'm so sorry. No one knew that horse would go crazy like that. He threw Joe but lots of horses throw riders while they're being broken. How could I know what would happen when I rode that horse?"

Sitting in tense silence for several minutes made both of them uncomfortable. Rosalie looked up to see that Adam had adopted that look that showed nothing of what he was feeling. She couldn't read him on this matter and wondered how much he blamed her for the loss of their child. She wasn't sure she could take him blaming her because she was blaming herself so much already. If she hadn't pushed herself, she would have been stronger and more rested when Adam was hurt. She believed that she wouldn't have started her labor so early then and their baby would still be alive.

"Perhaps I should go live with my family for a while. I don't like having your family fuss over me like they do, and you're not going to be in shape to do much of anything for a while yet."

Shocked by her suggestion, Adam stared at her wondering what she was thinking. He worried that she thought their marriage was over. When she referred to his father and brothers as his family not including herself, he didn't know what other conclusion to draw especially when she wanted to move back home with her father and brothers. He loved her so much, but he wasn't feeling anything from her at all.

"If that's what you need to do, then I want you to do it."

Rosalie had hoped that Adam would tell her she couldn't do that. She wanted him to say that he needed her and wanted her by his side. By telling her that she could go live with her family for a time, it felt as if he was sending her away even though it had been her suggestion. She felt unimaginable pain at hearing those words from him. She thought that they had always talked so openly and freely with each other, but now it seemed as if there was an invisible wall between them. Hoss drove Rosalie to her father's house. Her family seemed as surprised to have her arrive there as Hoss had been when he heard she wanted to go. For three weeks, Adam and Rosalie had no contact. Adam moved back to his house despite his father's strong encouragement to stay with them. He spent his days working on the ranch as his injuries healed and he was able to resume normal duties. In the evenings, he worked at finishing the work left in his house until the early hours of each morning when he fell into an exhausted sleep. He became ill-tempered and short with everyone. Any remark was likely to get a scathing retort so almost everyone kept their distance. It seemed to be what he wanted, but his father knew better. Finally he rode to Adam's home to confront him over what had been happening.

"Son, I know I shouldn't interfere in your life, but I care so much what happens to you. You can't keep going like this. You should bring Rosalie home. She's your wife."

"Does it look like I have a wife?" Adam swept his arm around indicating his sterile environment.

"You suffered a terrible loss and some hurtful things were said, but why can't you forgive her?"

"I had a dream, and it was a good dream. Now it's a terrible dream, and I want to wake up and have it be gone, but everyday, it's all still the same. I don't want to look in her eyes and see the condemnation there. She blames me for the loss of our son."

Ben heard the lonely child in Adam's words. It seemed that his oldest son had carried a fear of abandonment with him since he was a baby. His mother who had carried him for nine months had left him soon after birth. He lost two more mothers, and never had a home until he was seven. Ben knew that had marked his son, but until this moment, he had not seen how deeply it had harmed his heart. Adam couldn't see beyond his own pain. "Does she blame you or was she overwhelmed by grief and feeling terrible that she could do nothing to save her own child? I know you remember some of the terrible things that I said after Marie died. You forgave me. I know it took some time, but eventually you understood that I never meant what I said in my most grief stricken moments. There was so much pain inside that I was trying to release some of it, and in the process, I hurt others especially you, I'm afraid. Son, I know that you love her and she loves you. I know I had some doubts about your marriage to her, but I saw the love between you and how both of you were happier when you were together. Please consider going to her and asking her to come back."

"She'll come back if she wants to come back. You came back after you got over your sorrow over Marie's death."

"Son, I don't think I ever 'got over' my sorrow at losing Marie. What did happen is that the love I had for my sons helped me to heal and I came back because I loved you boys so much."

"Pa, sometimes love isn't enough."

"Adam, it is enough if you'll let it be enough. Let your grief and your anger go. Give up punishing yourself for something that could not be foreseen and can't be blamed on anyone. Both of you are hurting yourselves by your stubbornness. You're too much alike in that regard, and that you both retreat into yourselves to escape pain instead of reaching out for those you need."

Adam said nothing to that, and it was only later at home that Ben realized that Adam had not argued any of those points. He had sat stone-faced and still. Ben had brought in the basket of food that Hop Sing had sent over as well as a small kettle of stew that he hung on the hook by the fireplace where it could heat for Adam's dinner. He had taken his leave then to let his son think through what he had said. The next morning, Adam was at the ranch to work. He was still taciturn and glum, but there were no bitter comments, no angry retorts to questions, and some ordinary conversation. It was very limited, but Hoss and Joe smiled at their father when Adam wasn't looking. They too knew that Adam was finally working through his grief and loss. Still, Adam went home to an empty house every night and made no effort to get Rosalie to come back home. Ben was terribly worried and his younger sons were as worried as he was. After another week, they talked to their father about doing something about it.

"Pa, it's like Adam's here and he ain't. Joe tried to light a spark under him today while we was working, and all it did was get him to move further away from us and keep working."

"I know. He's putting distance between himself and everyone else. I remember doing that too when Marie died. I had Adam to help pull me back."

"Pa, it's been a month. Me and Hoss were thinking that maybe you need to help Adam to pull back to us this time. We'll help any way we can."

Ben sat in thoughtful silence for only a short time because he had been thinking exactly what his sons had verbalized. "Joe, you're right. Tomorrow, I'm going to go talk with her father. Clarence and I need to find a solution to this. I have an idea. I hope he likes it and maybe we can do something about those two stubborn souls." He told them what he wanted to do and both nodded and smiled vowing silently that they would pray that it would work. The next day, Ben took his carriage over to visit with Rosalie and her family. After several hours, Clarence hitched up his carriage and went to find Adam. When he did, he demanded that Adam get in the carriage telling him that they had to talk. He drove to Adam's home though hardly saying anything. When they arrived, Adam saw that there were lamps lit in the house and saw his father's carriage sitting outside the house. He looked at Clarence who sternly ordered him out of the carriage.

"Now get in there and take care of your wife."

"This isn't going to work."

"It ain't work, boy, it's love. Her ma and me was as different as any two people could be, but I loved that woman more than I have ever loved another being 'cepting the four children she gave me. Them children were all born outta love. Now get in there and make sure she knows that you love her. Anything else is just warts on a toad. It don't change nothing on the inside."

"I can go in, but that doesn't mean she will accept me. You forcing her to be here is a sign that she doesn't want to be with me."

"You coming with me just like she went with your pa shows that both of you want somebody to tell you what to do. I know you're lost. I felt that way when my wife died. But you gotta face up to it so you can move on. Now, you two are gonna stay here until you work things out. Your Pa is inside with Rosalie. We don't want to see either of you for most of a week. There's no horse here and we won't bring one over until next Sunday. Your pantry is fully stocked and there's plenty of firewood cut. We took care of the necessities. It's gonna be up to you two to take care of each other. Now go."

When Adam went inside, Ben walked out. Adam passed him without saying a word. Ben shrugged and climbed into his carriage as Clarence shrugged in response from his. Clarence and Ben drove off in their carriages but stopped some distance from the house to talk. They hoped that it would work and wondered how the meeting between Adam and Rosalie was progressing back at the house. Ben and Clarence spent some time talking. They found that they had more in common than they expected. Ben suggested that perhaps they could begin some mutually beneficial sharing of horse breeding stock to improve both of their herds. They talked about those things that had made their ranches successful but their minds were on Adam and Rosalie. Later, they went home and told their sons what they had done and how it had gone.

Chapter 3

Standing inside the door of his home after his father had closed it on the way out, Adam had no idea what to say. His thoughts and emotions were so mixed that he was at a loss for words and that was so unusual for him that he had no alternative except to wait for Rosalie to say something. He had been shocked at her appearance not knowing that she felt the same when she saw him. She was thinner than she had been since he had known her. It was clear that she hadn't been eating well, and she was pale as well. He had also lost weight but had circles under his eyes and a scruffy beard because he was no longer shaving once a day. Rosalie had been practicing what to say for several weeks, but had not had the strength to face her husband after what she had done. Finally all that practice was discarded and she said what was in her heart.

"Adam, I'm sorry I was awful to you. You were suffering and I made it worse. I was so terribly embarrassed and ashamed of my behavior that I wanted to escape. I was afraid too that you would never forgive me for losing our baby and now I have to ask you to forgive me for saying such mean things to you when it was all my fault."

"Rosalie, no, I thought you blamed me. I blamed myself."

Almost in unison, they asked the next logical question. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Adam pointed at Rosalie to continue but she pointed at him. "Let's sit down and talk. We need to talk, don't we?" Once seated beside Rosalie, Adam took her hand in his. "You must already know that I have a very difficult time telling people that I'm hurting. I don't want to increase the load that anyone else has by adding my burden to theirs. Before you say anything about that, I know that it is selfish and perhaps even a bit arrogant of me, but it's the way I am. I've tried to change and be more open with people, but I can't. You seemed to be able to read me as well as Hoss and my father do. I counted on that but failed to take into consideration how the pain of our loss could have affected you."

"Adam, I have to say that most of what you say applies to me as well. I should have told you how I felt. Instead I struck out at you because I was hurting so much. I needed to find someone to blame so I wouldn't blame myself so much, but I only made things worse for both of us. Papa said we're to stay here and work things out. Most of that should probably be by being honest with each other and saying what we feel instead of making it the other person's responsibility."

"Perhaps we could start off on a lighter note and go fix lunch together?"

Rosalie smiled and stood pulling Adam up beside her. She thought too that doing something as ordinary as lunch would help them start feeling more comfortable around each other so hey fixed lunch together, cleaned up afterwards, and then took a long walk. They talked about everything except the trouble between them. Each understood that they needed to spend some time together healing first before they attempted to talk through the troubles in their relationship. Their fathers must have known it too and that's why they had told them they were going to be together for nearly a week with no interruptions.

"Do you suppose they're checking on us?"

"Probably not any more."

"Any more?"

"When we came out of the house, I saw sunlight reflecting off metal in the trees at the end of our drive. I'm sure that it was probably both of our fathers hoping that their little scheme was working. We walked out hand-in-hand, and when we came back, I didn't see anything."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"And spoil all the self satisfaction of the spies by having you look directly at where they were so well concealed or at least how well they thought they were hiding?"

"I suppose that's true. I bet they're back home by now telling our brothers how clever they were and how well this is working."

"It is working, isn't it?" There was less doubt in that statement than the words implied. Adam had wrapped an arm around Rosalie's shoulders and pulled her close. The question was more of a statement or rhetorical question than an interrogative.

"Yes, it is. When your father ordered me into the carriage and my brothers said I better get in or they would put me in, I was so mad I could have hit someone. But now I understand that they could see what I was too stubborn to see. Hiding at my father's home wasn't helping at all."

"No, and I felt much the same way when your father ordered me into his carriage and then mostly refused to talk with me. He said most of what he wanted to say when we got here and I told him it wasn't going to work. He knew better. We ought to thank them, but not too much. I don't want them to think they can interfere at will even if they were right this time."

Each of them had gratitude mixed with a small dose of resentment that their fathers had stepped in and not let them come to the realization of what they needed to do by themselves and in their own time. That night after dinner and relaxing on the veranda watching the sun go down, Adam wasn't sure what his wife expected of him on their first night back together. Rosalie made it easy for him though. She said she was tired, and when they got to their bedroom, she moved behind the changing screen and came out wearing a pretty gown. She seldom had worn any or at least not for long, but on this night, she wanted more emotional support rather than physical release.

"Tonight, could you hold me? I need you to hold me."

Slipping into bed beside Rosalie, Adam turned to her, kissed her lightly, and then pulled her into a spoon position. They talked softly about their plans for the next day until slowly conversation ceased altogether and both closed their eyes in the first peaceful sleep they had had since Adam had been hurt or even before that because of the arguments they had been having. Adam knew now that it wasn't the pregnancy that had led to those verbal battles. It was that both of them held too much inside and didn't share with the other. He promised himself that he would change and he hoped that Rosalie had made that same commitment. Based on their new understanding of their relationship, he decided that should be a topic to be explored the next morning. In the morning after breakfast, Adam did bring up that topic and Rosalie had questions.

"Adam, you've said that you have tried to change that about yourself in the past and it didn't work. What will make it work now?"

"It's probably because I tried to change too much. This time, I am only promising that I will be honest and open with you, not with everyone. I have already been doing that since yesterday, and it doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would. It's probably because I trust you and I love you. I've been this open and honest with my father usually and always with Hoss. Now I am with you except I will be even more open and more honest about my thoughts and feelings with you. If I'm not, you can remind me of the pledge I made to you today."

"All right, and I promise to do the same. We can work on this together. The first thing I need to ask you is why you told me to go live with my family."

"I thought it was what you wanted. I only wanted to make you feel better and I that being with me was not what you wanted. When you told me that, I felt like I couldn't breathe."

"I wanted you to say that you wanted me to stay. When you told me I could go, it felt like you didn't want me around. I thought you blamed me for the loss of our son."

"We're back to that. We do need to be more open about our thoughts even when we're upset. It's the only way the other one is going to know how to react. If we had been more honest, this last month would have been a lot easier on both of us. We could have helped each other."

Rosalie nodded because she agreed completely. "Now, what do you want to do?"

"Well, in the interests of being honest and open, I want to go back to bed, but this time, sweetheart, I don't want to sleep."

"Perhaps we ought to kiss a bit and get more in the mood?"

Adam's grin let Rosalie know that he was all in favor of her proposal. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her gently kissing her lips, her cheeks, and her nose. Growing more passionate, he began to trail kisses down her neck as she wrapped her arms around him and caressed him.

"Yes, I want you to do this like you did when we were first married. I want to feel that this is a new beginning, and we can put all of the past behind us and only look forward."

"I don't know that I can remember exactly everything we did that first time."

"Oh, no, I don't want you to mimic that first day together. What I want most is that I want you to act like it's our first time. I want that loving man with the gentle soul who unleashed such wonderful passion when we were together. That's how I want to know you tonight and every night from now on."

"I'm not sure I can promise every night."

Adam's smile though let her know that he planned to try. She knew too that there would be nights when he would be too tired or gone on business, or she would not be able to participate because of her flow, but they could still show their love to each other. Slowly unbuttoning her dress as he kissed her, Adam pushed it off her shoulders and down to the floor. He ran his fingers up each arm and down again before bending and kissing the inside of each of her forearms until she shivered. He kissed her as she caressed him and returned his kisses. Their lovemaking continued like that until their desires were met. Hours later, they lay beside each other with sunlight streaming in the window. They had a chance to talk of the future.

"What's your dream, Adam?"

"At one point, having a home that I built and then perhaps doing some design work and some engineering work was my dream, and coming home to a house with my family inside every day. I wanted to have something in which I was in charge. The lumber mill fulfilled that. Now I'm back to thinking that I would like to see beauty in the world, to see exotic places, and do things I've never done before. I dreamed of that when I was much younger, but as I got older, it seemed only the stuff of a young man's dreams."

"Let's do it."

"What?"

"Let's get away from here, away from the pain and the sadness. Let's bask in beauty and adventure."

"It will never take the sorrow away."

"I know, but it will be good to have something in our life that is so good that it can help us accept our loss."

"Where would we go?"

"We could go to Mexico for a start. We could go on a trip to buy horses. I've been reading about some of the horses that ranchos down there are breeding and would like to get some. While we're there, you could explore all the Spanish architecture."

"Perhaps we could sail to the Sandwich Islands. There's a volcano there. I'd like to see a volcano."

"Perhaps as you say, but it could also be the half dressed native girls dancing that the friend of your father's mentioned when he was here. Your eyes got very big as he was talking about that."

"Perhaps." Adam moved his eyebrows up and down and then they laughed. It was the first laughter in their home for a very long time and the first shared by the two of them since Adam had been injured. There was optimism again and a sense of a shared life. They made love again that night still somewhat tentative with each other as neither wanted to do anything wrong. Over the following week, they relaxed their guard until they were ready to start making concrete plans for their future as they were once again a loving couple whose main desire was to be together.

At the end of nearly a week of imposed exile from their families, Ben and Hoss arrived at Adam's house with Sport, Rosalie's horse, Champion, and a carriage horse. They put them in the small stable there and walked to the house with a basket of food and great hopes for Adam and Rosalie. When they heard sobbing, they sighed thinking that all had failed. Ben knocked and after a few moments, Adam opened the door looking disheveled and distraught. He motioned them in and then went to sit beside Rosalie again pulling her into his arms as she buried her head against his chest and sobbed more and more. Hoss and Ben were confused. Adam sighed deeply and explained.

"We went for a walk, and I decided it was time to show her where our son was buried. It hit her hard."

Amazingly, it had been the marker and the fresh flowers at the carefully tended small spot near where Adam had first shown Rosalie where he wished to build a home that had caused her tears. The meaningfulness of that spot as well as the care Adam had given to the small burial plot had overwhelmed Rosalie letting her know that his grief was indeed as deep as her own. It also hit her like a physical blow to see her son's grave. Gradually, she got her emotions under control and told Hoss and Ben that she and Adam had made cookies. She left to get them and coffee. Ben and Hoss looked at Adam hoping he would explain more.

"You can be proud of yourselves. You were right. The time together has helped very much. We have some things left to work out with each other, but our marriage is stronger than it ever was. I guess the old pirate still has a few tricks to teach his stubborn son."

The lightness of the tone and the easy teasing let Hoss and Ben know more than what his words told them. He was healing as was Rosalie. Everyone could breathe a sigh of relief, but Ben didn't know that some of the things they had discussed and nearly decided to do would shake up their families even more. That came up at Sunday dinner with both families at Adam's home. They had brought food and set up a banquet. Adam stunned them then.

"Pa, Clarence, I have something important to tell you. Rosalie and I want to travel. In a few months, as it gets closer to winter, we're going to close up the house and take a trip."

Chapter 4

Hearing Adam say that he and Rosalie were going to be taking a trip led to a prolonged silence as everyone there contemplated what that could mean. Ben was the first to say anything and that was the question that had worried him for years.

"You're leaving?"

"Yes, in that we will be taking an extended trip, and no, in that it is not permanent. We plan to be back in spring. We want to travel to Mexico to buy some horses that Rosalie heard are being bred there. Then if we can make the arrangements, we want to travel to the Sandwich Islands before returning to San Francisco."

"What kind of horses?" It surprised no one that Joe and Augie asked the same question as Augie echoed Joe's query.

"We would like to get some Spanish Barbs or Jennets that Rosalie can use to breed a small number to train and sell. They are very attractive and distinctive horses that should be in high demand. The horses that we want to get for our ranches are the Aztecas. It is strong and very athletic. We think that we could breed those with the horses we have here or keep them purebred and use them on the ranch. Eventually, both the Morton ranch and the Ponderosa could each have a very lucrative horse business. We already have Morgans, quarter horses, and even a thoroughbred that we've bred into our horse lines so we already have some horses that are better than anything else being sold here. It's why we get so many Army contracts." Looking over at Joe and Augie who looked intrigued by the possibilities, Adam had to smile. "You two could get very busy once we start shipping horses here."

"You're having them shipped? Adam, isn't that going to be rather expensive? We could go get them and drive them home."

"Pa, the horses we're going to try to buy are in southern areas of Mexico. It would be a hardship for men and horses to try to drive them up here, and with the turmoil in Mexico right now, probably dangerous too and at the end, you would have to bring them through Apache lands. In the long run, it would be safer and cheaper to ship them."

"Son, it seems that you've put a lot of thought into this."

"Not so much me as Rosalie. She had these ideas but couldn't see how to do it. We've talked this week, and her ideas fit well with my ideas about traveling. There's nothing to hold us here this winter so we decided to do this together."

There were many undertones in that last statement. Without a baby they had been expecting, they had no family obligations that would tie them to the Ponderosa. Adam had dreamed for years about traveling and seeing some of the wonders of the world as well as trying his hand at some new things. Rosalie wanted to work with horses and apparently was letting go of the idea that her work had caused her to lose their baby. It would be a chance for Adam and Rosalie to depend on each other and strengthen their relationship too. Clarence finally offered his opinion.

"Seems to me, we set something in motion by getting these two to open up to each other. It all sounds real good to me too. I say we do all we can to help 'em do it."

Despite his misgivings, Ben had to agree. He could hear the excitement in Adam's voice as he talked about the upcoming adventure, and to Ben, there was no doubt this would be an adventure. He could only hope that it would not be too dangerous. He realized he would be praying every day while they were gone that they were safe, but he knew that it would be difficult to sleep each night as he wondered about the fate of his oldest son. One by one, the other members of the family added their support until it was Joelle's turn to speak.

"I'm going to miss you so much, Rosalie. I could never imagine doing something like what you're going to do. I like that Hoss prefers the Ponderosa to anywhere else. I feel safe here, but it will certainly be very different living here with all men."

Hoss was very glad that Joelle did not tell anyone their news. Even though Adam would be overjoyed to know, he would also be sad, and this was not an occasion in which Hoss wanted to interject any sadness. He could see that his brother was happier than he had been in quite some time and knew that Adam needed to travel and see new things. Being gone for the winter wouldn't be too bad especially because Adam had said they would be back in spring. That had been the part of the conversation that Hoss had been most happy to hear.

At first, Joe had thought that Adam was planning to run the horse operations on the Ponderosa and was ready to argue, but when Adam had let him know that he expected Joe to work with the horses to produce better stock for the ranch and to sell, he had only one comment.

"Older brother, by adding all these horses, are you trying to give me so much work that I don't have time to go to town?"

"Joe, that might be the best option, don't you think? I'm only doing it to protect all the young women in the Comstock as well as giving Roy a break."

Laughter greeted the brothers' banter, and the rest of the evening was filled with discussions about how to work the logistics of Adam and Rosalie being gone and then horses being shipped to the two ranches. Adam explained that he was going to draw some funds from his investments but also that he had been commissioned to design two homes on a similar scale to his own. He had at first declined the work, but now wanted to do those projects. He guessed that he could have both completed by November, and then he and Rosalie would leave on their trip if all other arrangements could be made by that time.

"What about the lumber mill and the timber operations?" Those were both bringing in significant profits and Ben didn't want to see them fold because of lack of attention.

"I have maps for cutting for the timber camps and I'll add more for the winter. The foremen in charge of each operation know what they have to do, and the lumber mill foreman is handling the contracts we have there. I won't bid on any additional contracts until we return."

"Can you do all of that, design two homes, and make all the arrangements for the trip in the next few months? It's an awful lot on your plate at one time."

Adam wrapped an arm around Rosalie's shoulders. "I have a partner. We'll manage."

There was nothing that Ben could say about that, and he did notice Clarence grinning at him. They had pushed the two of them back together, and with the personalities of Adam and Rosalie, it was likely that there would be surprises. This had surprised Clarence as well, but he saw how happy Rosalie looked again that he could only be happy for her and for Adam. The two would likely still have some issues to work out between them, but now they had the time to do it.

About a week later, Hoss helped Adam pick up some deliveries in town and take them to the lumber mill. It was an overnight trip, so Rosalie was staying at the house with Joelle. The two ladies were sewing some lightweight white cotton shirts for Adam and dresses for Rosalie although the skirts of her dresses would be a variety of colors even though all the tops would be made of the same fabric as Adam's shirts. Joelle was doing the sewing while Rosalie did the cutting according to patterns that Joelle had made from brown paper. When they finished the construction, then they would sew on buttons as well as decorative pieces onto the dresses. Joelle and Hoss had decided it was time to tell Adam and Rosalie their news. However, they did think that the best way to do it was for Hoss to tell Adam and let him find a way to tell Rosalie. So as Hoss and Adam rode from town to the lumber mill, Hoss struggled for the words to tell his brother that he and Joelle were having a baby. Adam drove the wagon and sensed his brother's discomfiture.

"Hoss, you and I have almost always been able to be honest with each other. What is it that you're finding so difficult to say to me?"

"You always know when I got something important to say. This is real hard to tell ya, though cause of what happened to you."

It didn't take long for Adam to guess. "You and Joelle are going to have a baby."

"Ya, but we didn't want to say anything cause you and Rosalie are still hurting so much."

Suddenly Adam was worried. "Joelle isn't going to tell Rosalie, is she?"

"No, we talked about it and we thought it would be best if you told her. I told Joelle that I would tell you while we were gone so you could get used to the idea, and then you could tell Rosalie. She's probably gonna need you there when she hears the news."

Adam agreed wholeheartedly with that plan, and had to tell Hoss what he was feeling. "Of course a part of me hurts when I think about you having a baby because it makes me remember losing ours. But, Hoss, I'm very happy for you, and for the family. I know that it was painful for all of you to have our baby die. It will help the whole family to have a baby in the house to be showered with the love that everyone has to give."

"I'm real glad you feel that way, Adam. I was worried. I didn't want to cause you any pain. It did seem real strange that our good news could be a problem, but when I saw Rosalie crying into your shoulder cause she saw where we buried your baby, well I knew it would like as not cause her and you to remember what you lost."

"Hoss, it won't make us sad any more than we already are. In fact, it may help to know that you and Joelle will bring a new life into the family. I guess with Joelle, you won't have to worry about her taking good care of herself. She seems, ah, cautious."

"She is that. Adam, sometimes she's too careful, but with the baby she's carrying, I guess it's all right. It's just that sometimes I wish she had a bit more spunk like your wife. Rosalie seems willing to try new things. Joelle needs to be talked into everything, and I mean, everything."

"But she's good for you and she loves living on the Ponderosa as much as you do."

Hoss wasn't sure how to bring up the next idea, but with Adam, there was no telling sometimes as he was prone to say to Joe whenever he objected to his oldest brother's taciturn ways. "But you and Rosalie don't love living on the Ponderosa?"

"Hoss, we do, and we love our families, but for us, it's not enough. It will always be our home even if we're gone for a while."

"You're planning on more trips, then, ain't ya?"

"Yes, if this goes as well as we hope, there will be more trips. We'll try to be here part of every year, but we can't promise that will always be the case. We may choose to briefly live in some other place."

"Well, I'm gonna miss ya when you're gone, and I'll pray every day that you're coming back and that you and Rosalie are safe and healthy."

"Thank you, big brother. I always know I can count on you no matter what."

When Adam and Hoss arrived home, Rosalie climbed into the wagon with her valises with the clothes she had brought and the ones she had made with Joelle. Adam talked about the trip and what they had done at the lumber mill. Rosalie saw right through his attempts to talk about the trip and nothing else that was important.

"What is it that you're not saying?"

Having pledged to be honest and not hide anything from Rosalie, Adam had to tell her. He was impressed with how well she responded. "I guessed that Joelle might be with child. I'm glad that she didn't tell me though. It gave me time to get used to the idea, and now to accept it when I hear it from you. You and Hoss must have talked. How are you doing with this news?"

"I had guessed it before he told me. There was something about how he was when he was around Joelle. But I'm glad he told me, and now everyone will be looking to see how we react. We can be honest and tell them that we're happy about the news."

There was a definite relaxing of tension when everyone realized that Adam and Rosalie had accepted the news and were happy for Hoss and Joelle. Adam finished his work on the house plans, made the arrangements for travel, and with Rosalie, packed up two large valises for their travels. Finally at the end of November, they were ready to embark on their adventure.

Chapter 5

"You are my trusted advisor, my friend, my companion, my love, and the only one for me. Are you ready to do this?"

"Wherever you go, I go. You are all those things to me as well. I love you, and yes, Adam, I'm ready to go."

"No second thoughts?"

"Of course I have second thoughts and the whole idea makes me nervous, but I want to do this, and with you, I know I'll be as safe as I could be with anyone. Now, I am ready to go."

Pulling the door closed behind him, Adam locked it before picking up their two valises and walking to the carriage. He handed the key to Ben who was driving them to town where both of their families would see them off. Joe sat beside him. Sitting in back, both Adam and Rosalie looked around at the Ponderosa not saying much but knowing they wouldn't see their home for a long time. They wanted to have some clear memories of it to keep with them. Ben looked back to see the two of them and smiled.

"She gets in your heart and in your blood, doesn't she? This land has a hold on our family that it will never let go."

With smiles, they let him know they agreed. In town, they boarded the train for the short shuttle to Reno, and then the train across to California. They planned to spend some time in San Francisco before they sailed to Mexico. Adam had some contracts for cattle to try to make for the Ponderosa. He would mail them any contracts he was able to procure. Ben and Clarence reminded them that they had promised to write often, and Adam reminded them that getting letters delivered from southern Mexico and from the Sandwich Islands was going to be unreliable but that they would do their best.

Travel to San Francisco was uneventful and put both Adam and Rosalie into a good frame of mind. The trip was going smoothly which did a lot to relieve their tension. In the hotel suite in San Francisco soon after they arrived, Rosalie stood on the small balcony looking out over the city.

"I thought it would be prettier after all you told me about it. It's crowded."

"Yes, cities like this have a hustle and bustle that is very different from Virginia City, but there are beautiful parts of the city. In a few days, I'd like to take you on a picnic by the shore. Meanwhile, the days are going to be filled with business meetings. I'd like you to meet me for lunch each day though so that I can introduce you to the men with whom I'll be negotiating. It's quite possible that they will be utterly charmed by you."

"So you want to show me off and try to get an edge in negotiations at the same time."

Grinning, Adam pulled her close to him and kissed her. "Right again. Now do you think you would be willing to do that?"

"Oh, more than willing. I'll be there wearing one of my new dresses. Should I let my hair down?"

"Oh, definitely not, my little vixen. It would have them with their tongues hanging out, but that view is only for me. No, just be yourself. I'm sure they will find you enchanting. I do."

"How enchanted are you?"

"Enchanted enough that I want you all the time. Now would you be willing to spend some time in our suite exploring possibilities with each other before we begin exploring the city?"

"Well, we didn't have much privacy as we traveled so this would be a good time to make up for all of that imposed abstinence, wouldn't it?"

"Sweetheart, I do like how you think."

Adam began helping Rosalie out of her traveling clothes discarding his on the floor as he did so. They made love and then freshened up, dressed in clean clothing, and headed out to find a restaurant for dinner except Adam had their driver take a long route around the city to show some of the sights to his wife who marveled at them. They shopped but didn't buy much while they were in the city. There were two reasons for that. They wanted to save their money for the rest of the trip and buying more exotic items, and they didn't want to have to add to the luggage they were carrying with them preferring to travel lightly for the time being. They did get their picnic once Adam had mailed some contract offers to the Ponderosa.

Then their ship arrived in port, and it was time to set sail for southern Mexico. On the way, they saw whales, dolphins racing ahead of the ship, and even some sharks attacking an injured whale turning the water red. Who or what had injured the whale was unknown, but Rosalie found the sight too awful to watch so Adam took her to their cabin until that scene was well behind them. They arrived in southern Mexico and disembarked finding a lot of commotion on the docks as people were buying, selling, and making offers. Adam got quite a few offers, but declined eliciting grins from him each time as he watched his wife thoroughly offended by the young ladies hoping to make some money by tempting the tall dark American into wanting their services. Finally Adam whispered to her.

"Sweetheart, you don't have to be upset. I already have all that I can handle in my bed every night. I can't be tempted when I have all the woman I could ever want."

"Keep sweet talking like that, and tonight might be the most fun you've had in a long time."

Rosalie enjoyed the look first of surprise and then delight she got from Adam. She turned to walk to a hotel that had been recommended to them by the captain of the ship because most English speaking visitors stayed there. Adam could speak Spanish but Rosalie only knew basic phrases so she would be more comfortable having people around with whom she could communicate especially when Adam was not there. That would be only a rare occurrence though as they expected to go out together to try to buy horses. They got a room facing the harbor with a pleasant breeze. They knew that it would be difficult to sleep at night otherwise because it was much warmer than the climate of Nevada and quite a bit more humid. There was mosquito netting around their bed so they knew there were other problems with the night.

Once they were settled in their room and had put everything away, Adam asked Rosalie if she would like to take a long walk on solid land. They had been on the ship for two weeks as it made its way slowly down the coastline. They strolled hand-in-hand down the main street of the town and then back up the other side. They had worked up a good appetite by then so they freshened up in the room and went in search of the nearest restaurant which turned out to be owned by the same people who owned the hotel. It was only a block away so they walked to dinner too. There were a number of guests from the hotel in the restaurant, and as newcomers, they were introduced to all of them. The other hotel guests were very friendly, but as the night wore on, Rosalie was uncomfortable with the staring that one man was doing. She felt his eyes boring into her and tried to ignore it unsuccessfully. As they walked back to the hotel later, she mentioned it to Adam. Blankenship was a rather ugly toad of a man at only about five feet tall but wide with small eyes set close together and teeth that were as crooked as they could possibly be and stay in his mouth. Yet he managed to leer at Rosalie as if she invited his attentions. She had to tell Adam.

"That Mr. Blankenship from Australia made me very uncomfortable. Every time I looked around, he was staring at me."

"You were the most beautiful woman in the room. Of course, he stared at you. Any man would if given the chance. I stare at you all the time. You never seem upset by that."

"He stares at me as if he's a wolf and I'm dinner. He winked at me as if we were silently communicating. When he smiles, it makes my skin crawl."

"You don't have to spend any time with him. If he makes you that uncomfortable, we can eat at other restaurants when we're here."

"Thank you. I do appreciate that, and I can work on my Spanish too that way. Now, could we leave? I'm not comfortable here."

"Yes, of course. We have a big day tomorrow and for the rest of this week."

"Yes, and a big night tonight. I did promise you something special for our first night here."

"Yes, I believe you did, and you always keep your promises."

Smiling, Adam offered his arm to his wife and escorted her from the restaurant. Many men there were envious of him, but one in particular sat in the corner of the room and began making plans. Later that evening, as Adam made love with his wife, neither of them were aware of the man on their balcony watching them. He had taken the opportunity of the empty room next to theirs to change his room and the adjoining balconies made it easy for him to climb over the simple railing between them and spy on the couple. She was as lusty as he hoped. He knew that he would be dreaming about her until she was his. As Adam moved over her, he imagined that he was in that position. He couldn't stay until the end or they would likely hear him on their balcony. He slipped back over the railing to his balcony but stood in the darkness listening to the sounds the lovers made.

"Adam, did you hear that before?"

"Hear you?"

"No, I thought I heard something on our balcony."

"No one is on our balcony. How could you hear that, anyway? Weren't you completely enthralled by my attentions? If you weren't, I'm going to have to increase my efforts to thrill you."

"You do thrill me, but, please, could you check our balcony?"

Slipping from the bed and through the mosquito netting, Adam approached the balcony cautiously taking his pistol with him. When he was standing at the balcony doors, he slowed his breathing and listened before moving back to the bed.

"There's someone on the balcony of the room next to ours. It's a hot night, so he must be out there to get some cooler night air although it seems like it's probably almost as hot out there as it is in here."

"Adam, I thought the room next to us was unoccupied."

"The clerk said it was, but someone else must have checked in."

"Please close the balcony doors. I don't think I could sleep with them open."

"We only have the window for fresh air then. It's going to be stifling in here." Adam saw the look on her face even with the lamp turned very low. He slipped out once more and closed the balcony doors and opened the window as wide as he could before returning to bed.

Next door, their stalker reevaluated the couple. She was far more suspicious and discerning than he had thought a woman could be, and he was dangerous if that pistol he carried was any indication. He held it as comfortably as a skilled shooter would and showed no sign of fear as he stood in the balcony doors looking out to evaluate the potential threat. Earlier the stalker had seen the powerful and confident walk of the man earlier, and he began to plot how to remove him from the scene because this abduction wasn't going to be as easy as the ones he had previously done.

The next morning, Adam and Rosalie did not feel rested. Sleeping in the hot room caused both of them to toss and turn for most of the night. The night air had been still so they were denied even a breeze entering their room. There didn't seem to be an alternative place to stay so they were reconciled to the fact that they would probably not sleep well until they were able to leave or the weather changed. They were assured however that the weather seldom changed there and warm and humid were far more likely to become hotter and more humid rather than anything else although by January and February, they were assured the weather would be more pleasant. They weren't planning to still be there at that time.

As Adam and Rosalie dressed and talked about their plans for the day, next door, their stalker waited at his door planning to leave as soon as he heard their door. He wanted to surprise them so he could evaluate their reactions. He did surprise them very much too stepping out of his room just as Adam was locking the door to their room.

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Cartwright, isn't it? Good morning to you."

Surprised almost to the point of being shocked, Rosalie was silent but Adam greeted their neighbor. "Good morning, Mr. Blankenship. I thought you had a different room here."

"Oh, I did, but it was so beastly hot last night that I asked to be moved. They said this was the coolest room that they could offer. I must say it wasn't any better than the other room but at least the views are much nicer. So lush."

The leer was unmistakable and put Adam on edge. He excused the two of them but Blankenship was not so easily dissuaded. "Say, I heard you were going to look at some horses. I'm here for that reason too. Perhaps we could travel together?"

Adam felt Rosalie shudder slightly. "Sir, my wife and I are vacationing as well as conducting business so I'm afraid our itinerary is not all business related. I must decline your kind invitation."

"Well, I am so sorry that we cannot reach a mutually beneficial travel arrangement, but I'm sure I will see you again this evening. Good day to you sir, madam." Blankenship left then excusing himself as he passed them in the hall but using the opportunity to lay his hand across Rosalie's forearm as his other hand rested on her shoulder. "Excuse me, my dear. I do not mean to jostle you in passing." Then he walked on but with a self-satisfied smile.

Not waiting to be sure he couldn't hear, Rosalie expressed her opinion quite clearly. "He's a pig and he touched me. I feel like I need a bath. Please, Adam, we need to find a way to be away from him. I think he may have spied on us last night. The way he looked when he said some of those things was as if he was referring to something else."

Adam's look was grim. "We'll check around and see if there is another hotel with similar accommodations to which we can move. You're right. He acted as if he knew more about us than I would like anyone to know. For now, let's try to forget him and enjoy our first full day here. Remember, we have horses to see. That should make you smile." It would have worked that way except that several times that day, they saw Blankenship.

Chapter 6

"There he is again, Adam. I swear he must be following us."

"He said he was here to buy horses too so it does make some sense that he would be where we are." Adam saw Rosalie's look. "I am not demeaning what you say. I agree that we need to be careful, but let's not jump to conclusions. He'll play his cards soon enough. We'll be ready for him. Do you have the pocket pistol with you?"

Rosalie nodded as she climbed into the carriage they had hired to take them to two ranchos where there were horses for sale. At the first ranch, both Adam and Rosalie had noted the distinctive spur marks on every working horse. It made them leery about buying horses there wondering how they had been treated during their training. A horse that had been abused could be unreliable and even dangerous or its spirit might be broken. So even though they had beautiful Andalusians, Barbs, and Jennets, they passed saying only that they would be back if they decided to make an offer. They left Blankenship there as he was making offers. They thought that they had seen the last of him, but he showed up on the next ranch they visited. Senor de Castenada had beautiful spirited horses, and he told them that he did not sell to every buyer who came to his property. When they made some offers, he asked them if they had seen any of his competitors' horses.

"Yes, Rosalie and I visited the Montoya Rancho early this morning. The horses there were very beautiful as well."

With a nod and a small smile, Senor de Castenada looked at both of them. "I think that I may sell my horses to you, and if I do, I will give you a fair price. I can tell that you did not like seeing the condition of some of the horses on Montoya's rancho. I have told him that he is too impatient in his training and that he ruins horses but he does not listen. Instead he often and loudly complains that I get paid more for my horses and he does not understand why. I think that you do understand. How will you get my horses to Nevada if I sell to you?"

"We plan to ship them to San Francisco, and then we will have them transported upriver by steamboat, and then by train to Virginia City."

"Ah, my horses will travel in style. I do like hearing that."

"It is not so much style as practicality. There would be no point in buying fine horses only to ruin them with arduous travel. They will be breeding stock on our ranch so they will spend most of the rest of their lives in stables and pastures near to our homes."

"Homes?"

"The Barbs will be horses that my wife and I will breed and keep purebred if we can get enough stock. The Aztecas will be for our fathers' ranches and they will be bred most likely with Morgans and thoroughbreds to get working horses, horses to sell to the Army, and horses for the market. Some will be purebred and sold as breeding stock again if we can get enough of them."

"Now how will I know that you are going to treat my horses well once they are on your ranchos?"

Smiling, Adam knew that they had made a purchase. It was only the price that was left to be decided. "Senor de Castenada, you would be a most welcome guest if you would wish to visit us on the Ponderosa."

"I have heard of this Ponderosa from a cousin who visited with us to buy horses. He and his wife, Margarita, spoke very highly of you and your family."

"You are a cousin of Don Luis Santana? What a small world this truly is. I have not seen them in years. I hope that they are well."

"Yes, they are quite well as is Don Miguel especially now that both daughters are married. Now let us go inside for refreshments and we shall talk about prices later. My wife will enjoy the company. It is not often we get people here who know horses as well as we do. Many come here to buy but few are approved."

As they were walking to the house, Blankenship pulled into the yard of the rancho in his carriage. He climbed down and with a big smile greeted Adam and Rosalie. "Ah, Senor Castenada, you have met my friends. I hope you will sell to them and that you would reconsider selling to me. I would like some of your horses very much to ship to my properties in Australia."

"No, Senor Blankenship, I am sorry but all the horses you want are already spoken for by another. Perhaps another year. I am taking my guests inside to speak with my wife. So if you will excuse us please. My men will water your horse and give you refreshments as well if you need them. Good day, sir."

Senor de Castenada turned on his heal and walked to his house. Adam and Rosalie sensed a coolness toward them once Blankenship announced that they were his friends. Adam sought to clear that up as soon as he could.

"So, you are not acquainted with him?"

"Acquainted, yes, as one is acquainted with a rattlesnake only to know the danger and how to avoid it. He has been following us. We don't know why, but he makes Rosalie very uncomfortable."

"Ah, yes, my wife says the same. She met him the first time he came here. He stared at her in a way that is not proper to look at a married woman."

"Yes, that's how he looks at Rosalie."

"You must leave here as soon as possible. Other people have disappeared when Mr. Blankenship has been in town. There is no evidence that he has committed a crime here, but rumors are rampant."

"We want to buy the horses. We had already talked of getting a room in a different hotel to get away from him."

"Why, you should stay here. You need only to get your bags and settle your account in town. You and your lovely wife can ride the horses and choose the ones you wish to ship to your Ponderosa, and we will discuss prices when you do."

"Senor, we do not wish to impose on you, but if it is not too much trouble?"

"No, no trouble. I will tell my Friera and she will be happy. Now come in, come in."

So Adam and Rosalie went to town later that day to get their luggage and pay the bill. The hotel clerk was all smiles, and Adam wondered at that. He explained that Senor de Castenada owned that hotel as well as several others and the restaurants attached to them. Raising horses on his rancho was his hobby not his vocation. Adam had a new appreciation for the man for he was a gentleman and an astute businessman. As they carried their bags from the hotel, they met Blankenship again. He asked where they were going and they said only that they had found other accommodations. Blankenship waited only until their carriage had turned a corner down the street and then ordered his driver to follow them to find where they were going. He was very surprised later to find that they were going to be guests on the de Castenada ranch.

It was an idyllic three weeks for Adam and Rosalie. They rode horses, enjoyed meals with Ignado and Friera, and met many of their neighbors and friends. Adam learned quite a bit about the architecture of the area when the local priest found that he had an interest in Spanish buildings. The priest had studied architecture before he became a priest and dreamed of designing a large cathedral some day. He and Adam spent several days visiting the largest buildings in the area and discussing the good and bad points of each. In the evenings, Adam sang some songs and taught them to the vaqueros on the rancho who in turn taught some of their songs to Adam. Rosalie worked on her Spanish and was able each day to communicate more effectively with the people on the ranch without having Adam there to translate for her. Both of them purchased clothing at a store in town and with their dark coloring, they didn't stand out as much as most visitors did especially once Adam tanned in the warm sun each day. He looked very different with the tan. Rosalie did her best not to get darker because she didn't like the effect it had on her skin. Friera had a similar attitude about the sun so the two ladies did most of their riding in the early morning and again late in the afternoon.

Business was concluded as well with Adam and Rosalie choosing fourteen horses to buy and ship to the Ponderosa. Adam made arrangements for the first part of the trip and sent letters to instruct his family about how to accomplish the rest of it. In his letters, he told his family about their good fortune in meeting Senor de Castenada and that they had invited him to come to the Ponderosa as their guest sometime in the future. They shipped home some souvenirs as well as some woven rugs that Adam was sure his father would like and Rosalie was equally sure that her father would like them too. There was one for each brother as well as a few for Adam's home. They regretted that it was time to leave when the ship was in port that would take them to the Sandwich Islands and then home. When they arrived in town, they were relieved that they didn't run into Blankenship again. Senor de Castenada had arranged for them to have a private suite for their last night in his town. Their bags were in their room when they got there as was a tray of pastries and a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Ah, how about a night of debauchery to satisfy our every sense because tomorrow we're back on board a ship with those thin cabin walls?"

"That does depend on what you had in mind. What do you have in mind?"

"We have these pastries and wine so there's no need to go out for dinner. We have an early departure in the morning anyway because of the tide. I was thinking we could spend the evening in bed after sampling some of these delights before I sample your delights." Adam pulled her into his arms and whispered in her ear.

"You are terrible sometimes."

"Only sometimes?"

"Yes, but not in a bad way. Rather in a way that is terribly delightful."

Groaning, Adam popped a pastry into his mouth. "These are very good. Would you like one?" When Rosalie nodded, Adam put one between his lips and brought it to her. She shook her head and took it from him but escaped his attempt to kiss her.

"Not until I'm done chewing. Ooh, these are very good. I would like another one, but I would prefer it on one of those little plates. I think perhaps we could sit on table in front of the balcony doors and have the pastries and wine. The view is magnificent. Then we could retire to enjoy the activities you were describing earlier."

"If you would serve the pastries, I will pour the wine, my lady."

Each of them had more pastries and a glass of wine. Adam wanted to go back to get another pastry, but when he stood, the room began to spin. He grabbed at the table but couldn't stop himself and fell to his knees. Rosalie gasped but when she stood, the room spun around for her as well. She followed Adam to the floor and lost consciousness before he did. Two men stepped from the bedroom of the suite.

"That was easier than expected."

Adam was still conscious but his movements were sluggish and he found he couldn't say anything as only mumbles resulted from his effort to speak. One of the men hit him, and he fell on his side still semi-conscious. The two men pushed him onto his stomach and tied his hands and feet and then tied those bindings together. He was effectively hog-tied. Next they gagged him. He heard them and couldn't do anything to stop them.

"Blankenship is paying real well for this job. Now we'll haul her down the stairs and to the ship. It's leaving on the high tide in the morning."

"Figures that somebody as ugly as him has to kidnap a pretty woman to get one."

"This is the third one I know about. He wears 'em out and gets rid of them."

"That's a shame. She's a pretty one. She could make us a lot of money on her back."

"She's already making us a lot of money, and this way we stay alive. Too many who cross that ugly toad disappear. I don't aim to be one of 'em."

The two men had Rosalie wrapped in a blanket then and carried her from the room locking Adam in. He knew that he was going to struggle and be unable to free himself. He began working on rolling onto his side so that he could attempt to bang on the floor. It turned out that he couldn't do much of anything tied as he was. He worried about Rosalie knowing how scared she would be when she awakened. Apparently the drug had worked better on her because she was so much smaller. It had knocked her out. Adam nearly cried when he realized he could not get free, and after hearing what Blankenship's men had said, he knew what sort of treatment his wife was going to get.

During the night, he managed to knock over one chair and then another through force of will more than anything. Yet no one came to the door. It was dawn before anyone came to the door, They called his name and told him that his ship was going to leave soon. When he didn't answer, the clerk finally opened the door and stood in shock at seeing Adam trussed and gagged. After a moment, he rushed forward and untied the ropes holding Adam. He struggled to his feet and nearly fell as his feet were numb.

"When is Blankenship's ship leaving?"

"Senor Cartwright, it has already left. Your ship would have left too except they are waiting for you and your wife."

"He kidnapped my wife and took her with him." And Adam knew that he would miss his ship and have to try to find passage to Australia to save Rosalie for he knew that her life was in danger. He contacted the authorities as well as Ignado de Castenada who called in all the help that he could. The two men who had kidnapped Rosalie for Blankenship were found floating in the harbor. They had misunderstood their directions to 'take care of Adam Cartwright so he can't follow us' because they had thought tying him was enough but Blankenship had meant for him to be killed. Without those two and without Rosalie, there was no evidence against Blankenship. It took nearly three weeks for Adam to secure passage to Australia. He was drawn with circles under his eyes by the time that Ignado and Friera bid him farewell and good luck. His idyll had turned into a terribly bad dream, a nightmare, and it was far from over.

Chapter 7

"What are you doing here in The Rocks? Are you trying to get your throat slit and your purse stolen?"

"Who are you, and why are you so interested in my activities?"

"Mr. Cartwright, I am Inspector Poole. We have been watching you since you arrived because you came with apparently no intention of settling here nor even of working here. That in itself was peculiar, but since then, you have contacted people of questionable character capped by this night's visit to the worst area of Sydney. I want to know why, and if your answer is not satisfactory, you will be on the first ship out of here in the morning."

"I'm looking for a man. He kidnapped my wife in Mexico and brought her here."

"There are sixty thousand people in Sydney. How do you plan to find him?"

"I'll keep asking questions until I get some information. I have money. I can support myself without working at least for a while. Finding my wife is the only thing that's important at this time."

"Who is this man you're after?"

"Blankenship. It's all that I have and yet no one seems to know anyone by that name here."

"I know him, and he isn't here. He came through here. He does every time he comes back. Now tell me the whole story if you want my help." Poole had seen that Adam was going to demand the information. He wasn't going to give it away until he knew more especially if Adam was an honest man with a story that rang true or a scoundrel. He saw the dark fury in the man's eyes and the hard look of him. He knew he never wanted this man looking for him. Just that lent some authenticity to his claims. Once Adam told the story including a very accurate description of the man sometimes known as Blankenship, Poole was convinced.

"Come with me. There are some important people who need to hear your story. I suspect this isn't the first time that he's done something like this, but it's the first time we have some real evidence."

"Evidence?"

"We have you, Mr. Cartwright. Witnesses to his supposed transgressions never survive. You are a rare one. Now come with me before my men come here thinking you've tried to kill me or something."

"Your men?"

"I would never venture into The Rocks alone. You are a very courageous man or a very foolish one. Time will tell which of those is the correct description."

Two hours later, Adam was repeating his story once more. He had told it twice already and each set of men had decided that there were other men who needed to hear what he had to say. Poole stayed with him for each session. When he finished telling it for the third time, Poole vouched for him saying that he had told essentially the same story each time, and that the details meshed with what they did know already.

"Mr. Cartwright, do you know who I am and who Blankenship are?"

"No, other than that you appear to work for the government here, and Blankenship is an evil toad. I have no other information to add."

"I am the Governor of New South Wales appointed by Her Majesty at the suggestion of the Premier whom you met in the last session. The original session was with the military commander of this district and two of the leading members of our Legislative Council. The Premier didn't say much probably because the man you know as Blankenship is his brother. We have long suspected him of foul deeds, but we had nothing more than rumor. Now this is a politically sensitive issue so we have to be very careful. The government of this state could fall if this isn't properly handled."

"Properly handled? My wife is in the hands of that man, and you can bet he's 'handled' her already. Do you expect me to sit idly by while he harms her more?"

"No, I'm sure that Inspector Poole has a plan. I'm hoping to hear it right now."

"We need to get someone working undercover at his station. It is likely where he has Mrs. Cartwright. He claims that he married her in California and brought her here. We doubted it of course, but now we know he kidnapped her."

"Why don't we simply go there and rescue her if you know where she is?"

"He's had three 'wives' before. None is here any more. He claims that they run off and that's quite believable if you know him, but they're never seen anywhere in the country again. We had considered that he had them killed. There are so many ways to get rid of a body on a large station such as he has."

"Then that's all the more reason to go rescue Rosalie."

"He has outriders. They would see us coming from miles away most likely. If he thought we were coming to rescue her, she would be dead and likely removed from the scene before we could get there. No, we need at least one man on the inside and two or three would be better."

"I'll do it."

"You can't do it. You've already told us that he knows you."

"I've lost weigh and grown a beard since he last saw me."

"Your accent would give you away."

"I could speak with a French or Spanish accent."

"How about an Scotch-Irish accent? We've had a few move here recently. Most struggled to find work, and some are living in The Rocks. It wouldn't probably be that difficult for you to get hired there."

"I'll do it."

"I'll go with you."

It was Adam's turn to be skeptical. "You hardly seem the type to work on a ranch."

"Mate, I'm bettern most blokes that rides a Brumby. I ain't big noting myself too much but I can outfight and outdrink you any day and have energy enough to root with a sheilah. I'll be the yabber and you be the quiet one."

"I'm not sure of most of what you said, but if we're going to where Rosalie is, then let's get started."

The next day, Adam and Poole rode into Baxter's station and asked for work. They said they got caught stealing in Sydney and needed to be out of the city for a while. They were hired at very low wages and given the jobs of mucking the stables and various other jobs that no one wanted to do. They knew they needed to grouse a bit about that, but they didn't mind too much because it put them in close proximity to the house. They watched and waited hoping to locate where Rosalie was being kept. There was going to be a raid on the station in two days so they had to find her in that time and be ready to move in to protect her when the raiders were spotted moving toward the station. At least that was the plan. As they worked, they heard a lot of yelling and then some crying before Blankenship walked from the house and yelled for his foreman.

"This is getting ridiculous. She isn't worth the trouble. Find a man to take her out and take care of her. You know what I mean. Make sure there's nothing to be found when it's done."

The foreman agreed but as his boss walked away, the sneer was quite evident as well as the worry that accompanied it. Usually, the women were taken out at night when no one could see who was doing what. Although many of the men working on the station were fugitives from the law as Adam and Poole had claimed to be, but in order for the station to make money, most of the hands were not. Doing something like this when there were so many witnesses could lead to trouble. Then he looked over and saw Poole and Adam digging a new hole for the latrine. He walked over to talk to them.

"So I'd be interested in knowing exactly what it was you two done while you was in The Rocks." It was a statement and a question. Poole and Adam looked at each other until Adam nodded at Poole as if to give him permission to tell.

"We relieved a bloke of his money but he fell kinda hard and never got up again. He never will. We got out before any blokes could connect us to it. It ain't like they know it's us but we'd as soon keep it that way."

"Most of what I thought. All right, I got a job for ya. There's a sheilah in the house that the boss is tired of. He wants you to take her out and leave her for the dingoes. When they're done with her, you go back and clean up the mess so there's nothing left to find. Pick a spot where no one is likely to see you or her."

"How will the dingoes know where to find her?"

"No worry about that. They know when there's fresh meat for their bellies."

"Is she still alive?" Poole could feel Adam tensing beside him and put a hand on his arm to remind him to keep his temper under control. The foreman thought it meant he was anxious to get to her. He was but not in the way the man thought he was.

"Course she is. You heard her crying, I'm thinking. If you're thinking you could have a time with her before it's over, well, I ain't giving you orders to do that, but I could see how it could happen. Now saddle up your horses and go get her from the house. Be back here by dark or you could have your own problems with the dingoes."

"Do we get paid more to do this?"

"You know better than to ask that. I did you a favor and now you're doing me one." With that, the foreman walked away glad to have that nasty business out of his hands.

Poole whispered fiercely to Adam as they saddled their horses. "She may be hurt, but you have to remember that getting her out of here is the first priority. Keep that hunched look and don't say anything if you don't have to. Now, you ready for this?"

"As ready as I can be. If she's not alive, I won't be held to my promise that I wouldn't take my revenge on him."

"I know. Now let's go get her."

Poole preceded Adam into the house where they found a bruised and battered Rosalie lying on the floor. She seemed to barely be breathing. Blankenship ordered them to roll her in the rug on which she was laying and haul the 'trash' out of his house.

"I don't know you two. When did you get hired?"

"Today, sir. We had a blue and had to bail The Rocks in the Big Smoke in a hurry and we're thankful your foreman took pity on us and hired us. We're blow ins and ain't been able to get any regular work. We been cleaning out the stables and digging a new hole."

"All right. And he told you what to do with her?"

"Yeah, he told us how to flick her." Nodding, Poole and Adam knelt beside Rosalie and began to roll her in the rug. Adam had tears in his eyes, but with his hunched over look, Blankenship couldn't see his eyes. If he had, he would have been scared.

"You don't have to be so careful with her." He giggled then and it was disgusting to hear. "I wasn't. Just get her out of here. I can't stand looking at her any more."

Poole and Adam carried Rosalie from the house. Adam mounted up and Poole lifted the bundle up to him. He held her over his lap and Poole mounted up. Blankenship stood on the veranda of his home watching them and wondering why the taller man looked familiar. Suddenly as they began to ride off, he knew. He had recognized how Adam had mounted up on his horse, and sitting in the saddle with Rosalie on his lap, he no longer had that hunched over look.

"Stop them! Stop them!" The foreman and the few other men working at the station looked to Blankenship wondering what he wanted and why. They saw him race back into the house and return with a rifle which he fired at the two retreating horsemen who had kicked their horses into gallops as soon as they heard his yell. The foreman and the other men had to saddle up their horses to give chase so Poole and Adam had a good lead. However with Rosalie on his horse, Adam would not be able to escape pursuit. Poole knew it and began looking for a place to make a stand if they had to do that. Blankenship or Baxter was out at his stable haranguing the men to hurry.

"Why do we have to chase them down? I thought you wanted them to take her away."

"It's her husband, you fool. He's headed right for the authorities. If they come for me, you and the rest of them here will all be in jail and looking at the gallows. Now get going."

As soon as the men rode out in pursuit of Adam and Poole, Blankenship rushed back to his house to pack. He took everything of value that he had in the house and ordered his butler to go out and saddle a horse for him. When he saw the man tie the horse in front of the house, he lit a match and tossed it on the pile of papers soaked in lamp oil. There was another stack in the study. He lit that too. There would be no evidence here that they could use against him. When his servant rushed in on seeing the smoke, Blankenship shot him. He figured a body in the ashes might fool them into thinking he was dead, and he needed some time to flee the country. He had connections in Mexico and elsewhere so as he rode away, he began to plan his future but was sure of one thing. He was going to make sure that Adam Cartwright and his wife paid with their lives for the trouble they had caused him and the financial losses he would have to suffer. Then he swore because he knew that if Adam was alive, the people in Mexico knew what he had done. His options were far more limited than he had thought. He had less than a day to come up with an alternative.

Several days later at the hospital, Rosalie looked to the blank wall at the back of her room so she wouldn't have to look at Adam. She was afraid to see the look on his face.

"Some things are too terrible to share."

Adam was sitting by Rosalie's bed in the hospital. He had refused to leave her side even when hospital staff insisted he go. Inspector Poole intervened and got permission for him to stay. They had been able to get away because once their pursuers saw the fire, they knew that the rat was escaping the sinking ship. Those who had worked for Blankenship had ended the pursuit and fled to save themselves. Adam had pulled up his horse and with Poole's help had gotten Rosalie to the ground. They unwrapped her from her cocoon and Adam had been moved to tears again but this time with relief to find her breathing. Poole had said he thought she was drugged more than she was injured, but at the hospital, they had found numerous injuries. Adam had been aghast when the doctor talked with him.

"She has several cracked ribs in various stages of healing. I bound those. Her hips are bruised. My guess is that she was thrown to the floor and probably kicked as well. Her left knee is badly bruised and swollen, and both wrists are sprained. The wrists look like they were held as she tried to get away. Those are wrapped in thick bandages. Her left elbow is broken. I put a cast on that. She has two small burns that were made by cigars most likely. She also has several bite marks."

"You mean bites as in insect bites?" Adam was sickened by the doctor's answer even as the doctor had a difficult time saying it.

"No, Mr. Cartwright, your wife has several human bite marks. They are infected. We have cleaned them out and bandaged them." The doctor said no more letting Adam imagine the worst because that is what it was. He saw Adam's look change from disgust to horror as he realized to what his wife had been subjected. "Sir, with what he's done, he will get the gallows if he is caught."

"If he lives. I'll kill him if I ever see him again."

The doctor had no doubt that was true, but his major concern was his patient. "Your wife is slowly regaining consciousness. When she does, you need to be prepared for her to either have a very emotional perhaps even distraught reaction to her rescue or for her to be so dispassionate that you wonder if she is still the same person. I have seen both reactions to terrible trauma. I don't know your wife and even if I did, I don't think I could predict the reaction. You will need all your patience and self-control to help her."

That first day when Rosalie had awakened, she had looked at Adam as if he was a ghost and then turned away from him. Adam had gently touched her arm, but she had flinched and pulled her arm away crossing that arm and her arm with a cast over her chest before rolling away from him and curling up into a ball. Not knowing what to do, Adam had done what had seemed most natural. He softly caressed her back and whispered gentle soothing words to her assuring her of his love and devotion and telling her that she would recover.

"I'll be here every day and every night. I know you have suffered terribly, but I'm here and I love you." He had fallen silent then but continued the soft caresses. It was nearly two hours before another person entered the room. The nurse came in to help Rosalie use the chamberpot assuring Adam that he could return as soon as his wife finished. "No. I'll help her."

"Sir, that wouldn't be proper."

"Who better to help my wife than her husband? I love her. I will do anything to help her."

Amazingly to the nurse, it was Adam's willingness to help with such a personal hygiene issue that broke through the first of the barriers that Rosalie had erected. "He can help me." The nurse wasn't sure that she had heard correctly so softly asked Rosalie to repeat what she had said. "Adam can help me." The nurse was shocked but had been told by Inspector Poole to accede to whatever demands Adam and Rosalie made as long as it didn't involve leaving the hospital. She left the room and pulled the door closed.

As soon as the nurse was gone, Adam helped Rosalie into a sitting position and then asked if she was ready. Without looking at him, she nodded and put out her arm so that he could help her to the chamberpot that the nurse had left for her use. When she finished, he wet a cloth and handed it to her so that she could clean herself. She did and waited. Adam put his arm around her waist and very carefully helped her stand and then helped her back into the bed. For the next two days, that was the kind of care Adam gave to Rosalie. He helped her dress, bathe, eat her meals, and take care of her necessary needs. He slept in a chair at her bedside until the hospital moved a cot in for him to use. On the third day, Adam asked her to talk with him. That's when she told him that some things were too terrible to share.

"Sweetheart, I've seen the marks on you. I've seen the bruises. I have a fairly good idea how that happened. You need to talk about it though to get the demons out of your head."

"If you know what he did to me, how can you call me sweetheart? How can you love me or want to be with me?" Rosalie avoided looking into Adam's eyes because she feared the condemnation and disgust that she was sure she would see there. She had seen the shock when she had first awakened.

Doing his best to remain calm, Adam put a hand on her shoulder and gently tugged to get her to turn toward him. "Look at me, please. Do you blame me for what happened to you? Is it my fault that monster took you and hurt you? Is that why you can't stand to look at me?"

That tremor in his voice made Rosalie look at him. She reached up and touched his face wiping away his tears with her fingers. "You must know I don't blame you. You saved me when I thought he was going to kill me."

"Then why won't you talk with me?"

Deciding that she did need to say some things, Rosalie dropped her eyes and started to talk. "He tried to make me be with him with threats, with bribes, with anything he could think of, but I wouldn't do it. But he drugged my food or my drinks. I don't know which, but I woke up in his bed. He laughed when I got out of there as fast as I could and grabbed my clothing to cover myself. He was exposed. He laughed and told me what he had done to me. I was disgusted and I wouldn't eat or drink anything for two days. He had some men hold me down and he put a funnel and hose down my throat and forced water into me. I woke up in his bed again. It happened two more times after that. I tried to fight him, but he hit me and hurt me until I couldn't fight back. I had to eat and had to drink the water he gave me even though I knew what would happen. I did it anyway."

Sensing that Rosalie needed to be prodded, Adam asked her why she had to eat and drink.

"Because I'm with child." Rosalie waited for Adam's reaction but there was none. It made her believe that she had been right. "I don't know if it's your baby or if it's his." She looked up then when Adam reached out to touch her face. She was shocked to see more tears flowing down his face.

"Sweetheart, I am so sorry that you had to endure all of that, but things will get better. I have to tell you too that any baby you have is my baby. You're my wife. It's our baby."

"No, no, you can't believe that."

"I do. I married you, and any baby is our baby."

That caused Rosalie to cry out and then collapse against Adam as she sobbed into this chest. Two nurses rushed into the room in alarm wondering what had happened. She stopped in dismay not knowing what to do. Adam spent his time consoling Rosalie as she sobbed until she was too weak to cry any more. He didn't want to let her go though so he sat on the edge of the bed with her cradled in his arms as one of the nurses went to get the doctor. When the doctor arrived, he had a fair idea of what had happened.

"She finally talked to you?" Adam nodded. "So now you know all of it?"

"Yes. Thank you for letting her tell me that last thing. She needed to be the one to tell me."

"I thought it was best. You can have her discharged now. There's a hotel suite waiting for you according to the information I received from Inspector Poole. I will have to notify him when you decide to leave, but there is nothing more we can do for your wife here. You and she will have to do the rest."

Chapter 8

Rosalie wasn't ready to leave the safety of the hospital yet so Adam waited one more day for her to get used to the idea. The next day, he asked her at lunch if she was ready to move to a hotel suite, and her unease intensified. Adam wondered at her response.

"I don't think I would be comfortable in a hotel suite."

"But the bed would be nicer. The food would be so much better, and you could have a bath in the suite. It has a water closet with a small tub. I checked it out while you were sleeping last night. I didn't think you would notice me being gone a short time. One of the nurses sat with you while I was gone to be here if you awakened and found I was gone. I didn't want you to be alone."

"I still don't know." Rosalie averted her eyes which Adam recognized as a sign that there was something she didn't want to say to him. He sat quietly thinking until he had a guess that he thought was probably right.

"The suite has a couch where I could sleep if you're worried about that. I won't push you to do anything more than you're comfortable doing."

Rosalie started to cry softly then. Adam put his hand on her shoulder and talked softly to her because he had found that was about all she was willing to accept from him at this point. He could touch her more when he was helping her, but shows of affection overwhelmed her.

"Sweetheart, things will get better. We have time. I won't try to make you feel better than you do or ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You need time and I know that."

"What if time isn't enough? What if I can't ever accept you in my bed?"

"We are so many things to each other: partners, friends, husband and wife, companions, lovers, and soon to be parents. I know that the world is imperfect and some of these things may not work out for us in the long run, but as long as you're by my side, I'll be happy and fulfilled. It was only when you were gone that I was sad. You are the joy of my life. I need you with me."

"I am so lucky that you love me. Almost every day, I wonder how I got so lucky."

"I'm the lucky one too to have found you. Do you think we could move to the hotel today?

"I would like to say goodbye to the people here who have been so kind. How can we ever repay them?"

"Ah, I've made a promise to them, and I've already started work on it. They need a new laboratory wing because they had a fire in theirs and it took out that wing of their hospital. I have a new plan with the laboratory on the third floor in its own tower. If there's a fire, the doors to the tower can be closed keeping the fire contained within. They liked the idea so I'm drawing up plans for them in exchange for the expenses we incurred while we were here."

"How will we pay for the hotel suite if we have to stay there until I recover?"

"Ah, Inspector Poole had an idea there too. He said there are several building projects that could use my help. I've agreed to work on their plans as a consultant offering suggestions for improvements and looking for any design flaws. There's a cathedral being built and a town hall. Most of my input has been with the town hall. I'm trying to convince them to build it with plans for expansion because the city is growing so fast. The work will likely keep me busy for at least a month. I had hoped that you would be feeling well enough by then to travel."

Rosalie frowned so Adam asked why. "Adam, I had hoped not to travel until the baby is born. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize my, ah, our baby. Is it possible that we could stay until then? This is the one place we know he isn't in. He has to have fled the country by now."

"I'm sure he has and it will be fine. I'll write to our families to let them know where we are. I haven't sent anything since I shipped the horses. I didn't know what to say because it would only worry them and there was nothing they could do to help."

As Adam and Rosalie continued to talk, a nurse left her spot by their open door and headed out for the day. She had information to sell to the strange ugly little woman who had wanted to know how the couple was doing. The nurse didn't know why the woman was interested, but she expressed concern for them and paid well for the information.

On the Ponderosa, with no new information, concern had turned to worry and then to fear. First some contract offers had come in the mail as expected. Next, Adam's letter had arrived from Mexico and described the couple's idyll at the de Castenada rancho and letting Ben know that Adam had invited Ignado and Friera to visit the Ponderosa. That was reassuring that all was well. Then the horses and the instructions had arrived. However months had passed with no further communication from Adam and Rosalie. Ben asked friends in San Francisco to check with shipping companies to see if any had a record of transporting the two as passengers. None did. As April progressed into May, Ben began to wonder if his son was lost. He and Clarence talked, but neither had an idea of what to do. All they could do for the time being was wait. Ben did send a letter off to Ignado de Castenada but knew that it could be months before he received it and then perhaps months before a reply arrived.

In Sydney, Adam wrote a long letter to his father asking him to tell an abbreviated version of events to his brothers and to Rosalie's father and brothers. They could read between the lines, but for the time being, a short version was better. He told his father that he and Rosalie were going to have a baby and planned to stay in Australia until the baby's birth and for a few months after that before they felt that travel would be wise. They had moved from the hospital to a hotel suite, but when Inspector Poole found out that they hoped to stay that long, he had found a small house for them to rent.

"It's right on the horse tram route. Some here don't like it, but I did assume that the two of you would not be offended by the smell of horses. The house is already furnished. All that you will need will be linens, dishes, and pots and pans and various utensils. You can move there as soon as Rosalie is comfortable with the idea. We do not want to rush you. The two of you have done a great service for our government and especially for the Premier, and we're willing to pay for the suite for even a few more weeks if that's necessary."

"Thank you, Inspector. Is it proper to ask if I can address you by your first name?"

"Certainly when we are not conducting official business. It's Lemuel but most call me Lem. My mother called me Lemmie but that is off limits to anyone but her."

Adam smiled and thanked Lem. Then when Lem left, he returned to the bedroom of the suite to see if Rosalie was still sleeping. She slept a lot but the doctor said that was to be expected with the twin issues of needing to recover from her ordeal and nurturing the baby she was carrying. She was eating well so her color had improved immensely. Many of the bandages had been removed as the small wounds healed. The wrapping around her ribs was the next to go. The doctor said she could leave that off whenever she felt comfortable enough without it. As she gained weight back, the doctor removed the cast from her elbow and replaced it with splints and heavy bandages that could be adjusted more easily. It also let her wash that area. Adam told the doctor that she seemed to want to bathe rather frequently for someone who spent most of her day resting.

"She's trying to wash him away. It won't work, but in many cases, it is soothing to the patient to be able to do that. Is she calmer and more relaxed after her bath?" Adam nodded. "Unless it gets to be extreme, let her do it. It is symbolic cleansing of her mind and heart. As she heals there, the baths won't be as important to her."

"What's extreme?"

"More than one bath a day would be extreme. Washing her hands or her face more than three times per day could indicate a serious problem. Once per mealtime is acceptable, but more than that is an issue. She needs to face what happened and let out her anger, her sorrow, and her fear. Once she does that, she will begin to recover more quickly. It's too bad he wasn't captured. Although brutal, seeing him on the gallows would let her know that it was well and truly over. Now she probably wonders where he is and if he's coming back."

"The authorities believe he has fled the country. We have to give our statements later today, and they'll formally charge him in absentia."

"Good. He'll never come back then. Now you take care too. I'll be back in another week to check on her again. She is doing reasonably well. I hope that in a week, I will see a marked improvement in her demeanor. Like you, I am worried about that but it's too soon to know if it's a problem."

That had been that morning and she was still sleeping. He pulled the door almost closed and walked back into the sitting room of the suite. There was a knock on the door and he assumed that Lem had forgotten something. Instead, when he opened the door, an ugly short woman was pointing a pistol at his midsection. He backed up slowly into the room.

"I don't have much money here with me and we have very little luggage or property here with us but you're welcome to whatever you want."

"What I want is you dead and your wife too."

"Blankenship!"

"Yes, I came to finish my business with you and her. Now where is she?"

"I'm not telling you where she is."

"I'll shoot you and go find her myself."

"You don't want to do that though, do you? A shot would bring people to check it out, and my wife can shoot. If she hears the shot, she'll grab the pistol that I left for her and I'm guessing that she's a better shot than you and has a bigger caliber weapon than that little thing you have."

Adam was backing up slowly as Blankenship moved forward. He talked loudly hoping that Rosalie would hear and close and lock the bedroom door. He could tell that Blankenship was nonplussed by his bravado because he had apparently expected Adam to cower in fear with a gun pointed at him. Adam had had a gun pointed at him on far too many occasions already in his life. He noted that the pistol was a small caliber. He knew that if the bullet didn't hit anything vital, it might pass through him and give him a chance to live. His plans didn't work as well as he had hoped when Blankenship grabbed a pillow from the couch and folded it over his pistol.

"There that should muffle the sound enough."

Blankenship raised his hand to fire, but Adam saw his eyes get very big and then he began to swing his pistol toward the bedroom door. A loud blast was nearly deafening in the confines of the sitting room. Blankenship was propelled back into the wall that was already stained with his blood from the bullet that had pierced his chest and exited his back. He sank to the floor as the pistol fell from his grasp. He was dead. Adam turned to see Rosalie standing with his smoking pistol in her hand. She stared at Blankenship and said nothing. Adam moved toward her and carefully took the pistol from her hand. That's where they were when Lem burst into the room with a pistol drawn followed by two constables only a moment later. Lem stood in the middle of the room and looked at Adam and Rosalie. Rosalie startled everyone.

"I shot the bastard before he could shoot Adam. You ought to give me a medal, but I'll settle for a place to stay that hasn't been stained by that piece of dung."

Still in her gown, Rosalie seemed unaffected by four men standing in the same room with her. Adam told Lem that he would get Rosalie dressed while they removed Blankenship from the suite. Fifteen minutes later, the bedroom door opened and Adam escorted Rosalie out to talk with Lem. They gave their statements not only on the shooting but on everything that had preceded it. By late afternoon, it was all over. Adam had told Rosalie that they would only refer to him as Blankenship which is how they had first been introduced to him. That made it easy for the Premier because the name Baxter would never be in any official reports. Lem knew that Adam had done another great favor for the people who had helped them. When Rosalie asked Adam if they could please stay somewhere other than the hotel that night, Lem suggested that the rented house was available. Adam questioned that because they had not purchased any linens or the other items that Lem had said they would need.

"The Premier has connections. I'm sure we can get what you need and have it all there within the hour. I'll send some men to see to it."

Within two hours, Adam and Rosalie bid good night to Lem who said that a constable would be standing watch outside their house until morning. They locked the doors and secured the windows before Rosalie declared that it was time for them to go to bed. Adam's surprise must have been evident.

"Yes, it's time. I want you in bed with me even if all we do is hold each other and sleep. You belong at my side."

Both of them may have had that intention, but once they were in bed, they kissed softly and then more insistently until Rosalie told Adam that she wanted him to make love to her. She told him not to object but just to be gentle. He held his passion as much in check as he could and did everything he could to bring his wife pleasure until he couldn't hold himself back any more. As Rosalie rested her head on his shoulder later, she asked him if he thought they should travel back to the Ponderosa before the baby was born.

"That's up to you, sweetheart. We can do it either way. How far along do you think you are?"

"I think about three months."

"Good, we could be home by sometime in your sixth month if we left now or we could wait until the baby is born and arrive home in about eight or nine months. It's your choice. I would support you in either decision."

"Adam, I killed a man, and I don't have any regrets about it at all. I thought I might feel terrible, but I only feel relieved. I know you've said that you remember all the men you've killed and that the first one gave you bad dreams. Why don't I feel bad about taking a life?"

"I never killed anyone who was as evil as Blankenship. The men I've killed had redeeming qualities but they made bad choices. He was a bad man in every sense of the word. I can't think of any reason he shouldn't be dead. I would have killed him as easily as I killed a rabid dog. No regrets when you do something like that."

"Hmm, no regrets. Mama used to say that people seldom regret what they do. Most often they regret what they didn't do. I guess that applies here. If I hadn't shot him, he would have shot you. That would have been awful. It is so much better that I shot him instead."

"Yes, now, let's get some sleep and tomorrow we can decide what to do next."

Chapter 9

Three months later, Adam and Rosalie arrived in Virginia City. They rented a carriage and drove to the Ponderosa. Their families didn't know they were coming because any letter they wrote letting them know would have traveled at the same speed they were traveling. Both looked forward to seeing their fathers and brothers. They stopped at Rosalie's family ranch first. Clarence was shocked and overjoyed, and her brothers hugged her and said how happy they were that she was having a baby. Clarence told them that he wanted them to stay to dinner although he knew they needed to go see Ben and Adam's brothers too, but he asked if they could please come back for dinner or to spend the night. Adam promised that they would.

When Adam pulled the carriage into the yard of the Ponderosa, Ben came out to see who had arrived and stood in shock at seeing Adam help Rosalie from the carriage. "I'm sorry, Pa. We changed our minds and decided to come home so the baby could be born here."

"There's no need to be sorry, son. Oh, my Lord, I am glad to see you and Rosalie, and to see that you're safe. Please don't ever worry me like that again. I got all this gray hair worrying about Joe. The only thing left is for it to fall out, and you wouldn't want me to have to suffer that, now would you?"

A rider coming in hard cut off any further conversation. "Mr. Cartwright, some rustlers got Hoss, Joe, and Candy pinned down. They need help."

Adam looked at Rosalie and shrugged. Some things never seemed to change. "I'll go with you, Pa. Who's Candy?"

"I'll explain it all when we get there. Buck is saddled, but you'll need to saddle up. I'll get Rosalie into the house while you do that." Ben did that yelling for Joelle who came down the stairs a moment later with her newborn in her arms. She grinned to see that Rosalie was back even as Ben grabbed a rifle and ammunition for Adam before heading outside. Rosalie told Joelle that there was some trouble with rustlers and Ben and Adam were heading out to help out. She thought that was enough for Joelle to know.

In the rocks where they had taken refuge, Joe, Hoss, and Candy were running low on ammunition. They fired only enough to keep the rustlers from closing in on them, but the rustlers had the high ground and were using huge boulders for cover. There wasn't much the three could do against them because they seldom had a target large enough to see much less hit. Suddenly they heard rifle fire from a different direction and at first were afraid that they had been flanked except they heard one of the rustlers cry out in pain and then another. Firing from the rustlers diminished and then there was nothing. Candy looked from Hoss to Joe. Both brothers were grinning.

"I suppose you think you know who's doing that shooting. Who the hell is that? He can shoot around corners, and I never thought anyone could do that except in tall tales."

"Only one man I know of ever done that. Right, Joe?"

"Right! He claims that he shoots billiards to practice his shooting."

"It could be, Joe. He does bank those rifle shots like nobody else I know."

"Well, who the hell is it?"

"Joe, you gonna tell him?"

"Nah, Hoss, you tell him."

"Well, somebody tell me."

"All right. Dagnabit, Candy, you don't have to be so impatient. That's gotta be our brother Adam over there. He musta come back sooner than we thought he would."

As Adam kept watch and made sure that the rustlers would not fire on anyone, Ben rode up to Hoss, Joe, and Candy.

"Hey, Pa, Adam's home?"

"Yes, he is, Hoss. And the first thing he had to do was to come rescue you."

Joe groaned. "Oh, boy, we're going to hear about this forever. Pa, do you suppose you could send him away again if he talks too much?"

"Joe, of course not. Now, why don't the three of you find your horses? I think we have some rustlers to track down." Ben waved to Adam to get him to join them. When he rode up, Ben introduced him to Candy who had been the first to return with his horse. Within seconds, Hoss and Joe rode over after retrieving their horses and greeted their older brother with big grins before asking about Rosalie.

"We'll talk later. I think Pa wants us to chase after some rustlers. They probably can't move too fast with two of them wounded."

"Mighty fine shooting for a man dressed in sissy duds." Candy was surprised to see Adam dressed like a city dweller but wearing his pistol rig low like a gunfighter. He was also impressed by his demeanor and thought that Adam was more like his father than his brothers with an intimidating presence like his father but with an underlying sense that he was dangerous. Candy had baited him a bit to see how he would react.

"Well, I never thought my brothers would hire a man named after a confection. I can change my clothes."

Ben and his younger sons waited for Candy's reaction with some trepidation. They wanted these two men to like each other but it seemed they were already at odds.

"Good. You look like a fool riding around on that fine horse dressed like a city slicker."

"Yes, he is a fine horse. I've missed him too. Thank you for standing with my brothers."

"You're welcome. I had to. Joe owes me a beer."

Candy and Adam chuckled and turned their horses to ride after the rustlers as Ben, Hoss, and Joe breathed a sigh of relief. It appeared that Candy liked sparring with words as much as Adam did so it could get very interesting.

As expected, the rustlers hadn't gotten very far. They were rounded up and brought back to the house where Candy assigned some men to take them to town to hand over to Sheriff Roy Coffee. Adam was a bit surprised to hear Candy giving some orders. He looked over at his father and brothers until Hoss answered.

"With you gone, we needed somebody. The men listen to Candy so he's been working as a foreman to see how it works out. It's another change we made in how the ranch is run."

Slowly Adam's grin grew. "Good, you won't need me on any cattle drives then."

"I don't know, son. You have Joe so busy with horse breeding that he barely has time to do anything else. We may need you to boss the next drive." Adam looked worried because that would be about the time that Rosalie was due. Ben saw the look and quickly explained. "I'm kidding. We know that you have to be with Rosalie. We wouldn't interfere with that. By now, I would guess that Hop Sing has a room ready for you. Your house isn't ready because we didn't know you were coming. It needs to be aired out, stocked, and cleaned. I'm sure there's dust and probably a few little critters that have found their way inside by now."

"Ah, Pa, I promised Clarence that we'd be back today. He wants us to have dinner there and spend the night. I said we would. Then we'll be back and spend a week or two here before we move back to our house."

Quickly masking his disappointment, Ben smiled. "Of course she needs to spend some time with her family too. We'll have a big dinner tomorrow then to welcome the two of you back."

"Thanks for understanding, Pa."

"Well, do you have time to come inside and meet your nephew?"

"Of course. I need to see this strapping big boy that I've heard about. Hoss couldn't stop talking about him on the ride back."

When they group walked into the house, Rosalie hurried to Adam's side. "You're all right!"

"Of course, I'm all right. You weren't worried, were you?"

"Not too much, I guess."

Seeing the tears in her eyes, Adam wrapped an arm around her. At first she had been standoffish with him and felt guilt, shame, and fear. Once she welcomed his presence, she didn't want him to ever be gone from her side. Those short interludes when he was gone made her very nervous. He had thought that she was getting over that, but it was clear to him that she had not. He kept his arm around her.

"Have you had a chance to meet our nephew?"

"Yes, he's adorable." Except her voice was cracking and Adam knew he needed to get her away from the others to help her regain her composure.

"We have some gifts in the carriage. We'll go get them and be back in a minute."

Once they were outside, Rosalie cried on Adam's shoulder for a minute. That was better than it was when they were first dealing with her reaction to her ordeal, but he was still concerned with how emotionally fragile she was at times and worried that she was masking how she felt at other times. Once he dried her tears, he gave her time to compose herself as he recounted meeting Candy and what the two had said to each other.

"Adam, weren't you kind of mean to him?"

"Rosalie, he called me a sissy."

"No, he said you were wearing sissy clothes, and now looking at you, I can see why he thought that."

Adam scowled at her for that comment, and she grinned at him. "Let's bring these presents inside and then we'll head back to your father's place. We're probably already very late for dinner, but I bet he won't mind too much with his daughter back and a grandchild on the way." As soon as Adam said it, he wished he hadn't. He saw that dark look pass over her face again and had a fairly good idea of why that had happened. Any mention of the arrival of the baby seemed to make that happen. He guessed that she had the same fear that he did, but he managed to control it and mask it better. He was doing his best to convince himself that he would love that baby even if Blankenship was the father, but in his heart, he knew it was going to be very difficult. He wondered, and supposed that Rosalie did too, if every time he looked at that innocent babe, he would remember how the child had been conceived. If it was his, it had been conceived in joy and love as both dreamed of having a family, but the alternative was too awful to contemplate much. It was the stuff of nightmares, not dreams.

Once they were inside with the small presents they had brought with them, everyone noticed Rosalie's puffy red eyes. It was clear that she had been crying, but only Ben and Hoss had a good idea why. Ben had confided to Hoss more of what Adam had written than to anyone else. He had thought that Hoss would be a source of comfort to Adam especially giving him a trusted confidante. No one else knew of the ordeal that Rosalie had endured except in the most vague terms. Ben knew that after this reaction of Rosalie to seeing Joelle with her baby that he was likely to face a lot more questions but wasn't sure how many answers he ought to give. As Adam and Rosalie prepared to leave, Ben put his hand on Adam's arm. Adam turned to him and softly told him what had to happen next.

"We'll talk tomorrow, Pa. Right now, I need to get Rosalie to the comfort of her father and brothers."

Adam and Rosalie were very late to dinner, but there was nothing that was going to stop her father and brothers from the joy they had at having her back home. Adam was congratulated on bringing her back to them safely, but Clarence noted that his smile disappeared when Augie said that and the brothers seconded the statement. When Rosalie left with her brothers to go see the horses that had been sent from Mexico, Clarence confronted Adam.

"I'm thinkin' there was a whole lot more to what happened to make the two of you be gone so long other than what Ben told me. She's my daughter. I got a right to know."

Dropping his head as he squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, Adam finally began talking to Clarence who was getting increasingly agitated by the delay and told Adam that.

"Out with it. It already happened so there ain't no reason not to tell a body."

"It's a story that Rosalie doesn't want her brothers to know. She was kidnapped in Mexico and taken to Australia. She was hurt by him and nearly killed. You don't need to know the details which are awful, but the great fear she has now is that the baby she is carrying was fathered by the monster who took her."

Clarence had turned pale at the news and sat down heavily in a chair. He suddenly had a great fear too. "You ain't gonna leave her, are ya? That ain't why ya brought her here tonight?"

"No, no, never. I brought her here because I thought that you and her brothers could be a greater comfort to her than my family. We'll spend some time with my family on the Ponderosa too before we move back to our house, but she needed to be with all of you tonight."

"Thank the Lord. Some men wouldn't stay with a woman after something like that."

"I am not some men who blame the victim for being harmed. I love her, and I'll be with her as much as she needs me."

"What about the baby?"

"It's our baby no matter what."

"But if he's the father?"

"I'll love the baby. I know it will be difficult, but I will."

"I'll help any way that I can."

"Thank you. I'll tell Rosalie that you know. She'll probably have trouble facing you knowing that you know, but reassure her that it doesn't change your feelings about her and be prepared for her to cry. She cries often as anything reminds her of what happened to her."

"My Rosalie crying a lot? Usually she got angry when somebody did something to her."

"She did get angry, but I think the tears are more related to carrying the baby and not being sure of the father."

"What happened to the bastard who done it to her?"

"Rosalie shot him. One shot through and through the chest. He won't hurt anyone again."

"Who did Rosalie shoot?" Augie was walking in the door preceding his brothers and Rosalie. They had heard Adam's last statement.

"So you told him?" Rosalie was ready to cry again except she was also angry as she assumed that Adam had told her father the whole story.

"I told him that you killed the man who kidnapped you."

Augie responded. "Good. We knew that you had been kidnapped and Adam had to rescue you. It's good to know that the bastard won't try that with any other women." His brothers nodded in agreement reassuring Rosalie that they did not know the terrible details and the horrible worry she carried with her. Augie could see that the topic upset his sister so he changed the direction of the conversation entirely.

"Pa, Rosalie likes the new corrals we built for the new horses. She says Adam can design an addition to the stable so we got room for them in there this winter."

"Whoa, now, boy, we ain't got the money to do that too. We can get by on what we already got until next year."

"Sir, I think I could help with that."

Snickering, Brent slapped Augie on the shoulder. "He called Pa 'sir', Augie."

"Wouldn't hurt you boys none to show a little respect like that for your pa. Now Adam, you know I can't accept your money. I never took a loan for this place and I ain't about to now."

"I wasn't thinking loan. I was thinking of barter. I need some help expanding my stable for the Barbs we got and the Morgans that we want to buy. I would trade the labor of your sons for the lumber for your stable. I know where I can get the lumber at a very cheap price. The plans don't cost anything so that would be free."

Clarence frowned as he thought that through and then smiled as he offered Adam his hand sealing the deal. The rest of the evening was filled with talk about how to expand the stable for the horse business. Adam mentioned an indoor riding ring and Clarence asked how that could be done.

"We could build an extension in the shape of an hexagon with one side sharing a wall with the back of your stable. We could open that up as much as you wanted. Then we would put the stalls to the outside leaving a wide space in the middle where the horses could be trained even in winter."

"You just come up with that idea just like that?"

"No, I've drawn plans for us to have a smaller stable built like that and attaching to ours. We would have the stalls in one building and then only the exercise area in the hexagon. You have quite a few more horses so you need more stalls."

"Hmm, how about we just add stalls this year, and next year we add on that hexa thingie you said and make it all for exercise and training like yours only bigger? We could have quite a place to show people our horses."

Rosalie turned to Adam with a more hopeful expression than he had seen her have for many months. He smiled and nodded. She hugged him then and kissed him in front of her family before she blushed a bit at realizing what she had done. It was getting late by then, and Rosalie and Adam headed up the stairs to stay in the room that had been Rosalie's when she lived at home. She giggled a little when Adam closed the door to the bedroom.

"It's funny. I feel a little guilty taking a man up to my bedroom. Papa had told me when I was younger that if he ever caught a boy up here with me, he would cut off, well you know what he would have cut off."

"Hmm, I don't think I have to worry. It's been a long time since I was a boy."

The muffled sounds from their room later made Clarence smile instead of being angry as he said a prayer of thanks to God that Adam was Rosalie's husband.

Chapter 10

"So Clarence knows too. Adam, I told Hoss. I thought that you might want to talk to him sometime too." Ben and Adam were seated by the fireplace. Joelle was upstairs nursing her son, and Hoss and Joe had taken Rosalie on a walk to see the horses that had arrived from Mexico as Joe explained his plans.

"That's it, Pa. I don't want anyone else to know except for Doctor Martin. I'm going to tell him because he has to see to her medical care. He needs to know what happened. He would have some questions anyway once he examined her."

"That bad?"

"No, just that identifiable. Cigar burns and bite marks are distinctive and Paul would know. He will likely wonder at her emotional state too. He saw her through it all the first time, and she was as feisty as ever. This more fragile state is very new for her. I'm hoping that he has some advice."

"She is fragile. I saw the tears simply from seeing Hoss' son. What else causes her to cry so perhaps we can avoid those things?"

"It's unpredictable. I didn't realize she would cry when she saw Gunther."

"We've taken to calling him Gunnie by the way. Gunther is such a big handle for a baby."

"We've taken to calling our little boy, Robert. It makes it easier to talk about our loss when the baby has a name even if we never got to name him before he was gone. I'm going to make a new marker for him."

"Hoss has been tending that for you. He knew that both of you would like to know that he was not forgotten."

"That's just like Hoss. I'll thank him for doing that. It means a lot. Now, as for what upsets Rosalie, it could be anything. A man lighting up a cigar, a word that monster might have used, or anything that reminds her of him. It has gotten better over the last two months while we were traveling. It was good to get out of Australia and away from people who sounded like him even if they were very nice to us. We rode out storms, saw dolphins and whales again, and spent a lot of time at the rail just letting the clean air wash over us. She doesn't like enclosed spaces or people crowding around her. Let her initiate a hug or a touch. Anything else can startle her too much. You should treat her, as Hoss would say, as a skittish filly."

"She seems to want to be by your side all the time."

"Yes, and that has gotten a bit better since we've been home. She went to the stable with her brothers last night, and now she's out there looking over the horses with Hoss and Joe. She has more people here whom she can trust. That helps, but I don't plan to be far from her side until she's more at ease."

"It must be very difficult for you having to walk on eggshells around her all the time."

"It's not all the time. She is often just like the woman I married. It's that the hurt occasionally overwhelms her for a short time when she is reminded of what happened. I want to be at her side when that happens so that I can help her."

Just then the door burst open and Hoss carried Rosalie into the house. Adam rushed to him but Hoss brushed past him to carry her to the settee where he carefully set her down.

"What happened?"

"We was in the corral with the horses and Candy come up and said something. It startled Rosalie some and she fell. She kinda twisted her ankle and I didn't want her walking on it until Hop Sing has a chance to look at it. Candy is real sorry for it. He didn't know that a stranger's voice could surprise her so."

"Adam, I'm fine. Hoss is being too protective. Hoss, please tell Candy it's all right. It was just silly of me to jump like that at a simple greeting."

"Aw, now, Rosalie, there ain't no such thing as me being too protective like that on your account. I'll be here to watch out for you any time you need it. I'll let Candy know. He'll appreciate that you were thinking of his feelings too."

"Oh, Hoss, if I could stand up, I'd give you a kiss."

"Aw, shucks, Miss Rosalie, you don't have to do that."

"Hoss, I do believe you're blushing. That's amazing. You're a married man with a baby and you can still blush. I don't think Adam can blush."

"I don't think Adam ever blushed in his whole life, Sis. I don't rightly know as to ifn he knows how."

"Oh, he knows how."

Rosalie giggled a bit as Hoss laughed. Adam scowled eliciting more chuckles all around, but inside he was delighted. Rosalie was being more like what she had been before their nightmare had happened. Getting home had been the right idea. The next issue was opening their house and seeing if she could be comfortable there especially when Adam wasn't in the house. He had a suggestion and decided there was no better time to bring it up.

"Rosalie, with your ankle hurt and with you carrying our child, do you think we ought to ask Hop Sing if he knows someone who could help us out at our house at least until after the baby is born?"

Ben wanted to jump in and endorse the idea but held back because he knew Rosalie had to make this decision. She was very quiet and looked very serious as Adam waited for his answer.

"I would like our helper to be a woman if you don't mind."

It was a concession but one that was going to be difficult to fulfill. Women from China were restricted from entering California unless they were married to a trader or the daughter of one, or if they had a father already in the United States who had become a citizen. Very few Chinese sought citizenship that the avenue was rarely used. Some Chinese women were smuggled in but almost all of those ended up working in brothels of one sort or another. With so many Chinese men and so few Chinese women, most females were married as soon as they were of age and usually promised well before that point. Adam went to talk with Hop Sing who verified his information. If they wanted a female to help out at their house, it was going to have to be a white female. Hoss suggested that they ought to go ask among the homesteaders to find someone who could do that work. It would likely only be for the three months until the baby arrived and then for a couple of months after that. Suddenly something occurred to Rosalie that she had not considered before that point.

"I won't be able to work with the horses once the baby is born."

"Rosalie, I'll be working at home often. I can take care of our baby while you work with the horses. If it gets to be too much, we can hire someone to help."

Ben understood the logic of combining the two ideas. "Why don't you hire someone who can stay on to help then even after the baby is born? Taking care of a home, a baby, and the horses would seem to be too much for one person."

Adam smiled and looked at Rosalie who nodded. "Sweetheart, I can go to town tomorrow if it's all right with you and check with some people to find someone. I could have her come out to meet you so you could have the final say."

"Who would you ask?"

"Sheriff Coffee, Doctor Martin, and Reverend Miller all come to mind as people who might know of someone we could trust to bring into our home."

A week later, Minnie Miller came to live with Adam and Rosalie in their home which had been cleaned, aired out, and stocked with the necessities. She was Reverend Miller's mother. He was happy to find a good safe place for her to work. She had been widowed six months earlier and was a robust, healthy middle-aged woman with experience running a household and caring for children. Reverend Miller got to have his mother nearby, and Adam and Rosalie said that she could have Saturday afternoon through Monday morning off every week to spend time with her son and his wife and her grandchildren.

Adam had an extra bedroom in his home on the opposite end of the hallway from the master bedroom and she would use that one. The bedroom in between those two bedrooms would be the nursery. The first morning that Minnie was in their home, Adam heard her rise early and head downstairs. He got up and shaved as the sun rose and sent morning light into the bedroom. When he turned around, he saw Rosalie watching him. Then she put her hands on her swollen belly and asked him to come quick. Worried at first, he relaxed when he realized she wanted him to touch her belly to feel the baby kick. That had been happening quite often as Rosalie became more and more relaxed about having the baby. She still asked Adam if he could love the baby no matter what, and he told her he would, but in his heart, he prayed that the baby would be his. He worried about his ability to love the baby without reservation if the features showed that Blankenship was the biological father.

As the end of the nine months approached, he realized that he had been unable to banish that fear. His worry about that ended one night when Rosalie awakened him in the predawn hours to tell him it was time. She had felt uneasy the day before and gone to bed early asking Adam to massage her sore back before she was able to fall asleep. She had been gaining confidence and was no longer as prone to crying so easily, but that night, she shed a few tears as Adam did his best to soothe her fears. She knew that her labor was likely to start soon and all the worries and fears of the previous months weighed heavily on her. Despite that, with Adam's help, she had slept soundly. That would put her in good stead for the hours of labor she faced.

"I'll tell Minnie, and then I'll ride over to Pa's to get someone to ride to town for the doctor."

"I don't think he's there. He told me last week that he was going to San Francisco and would be gone for at least a week. He asked me to hold off until he got back, but this baby wants out now."

"We'll get Hop Sing to help and see if one of the other doctors in town is available if Doctor Martin is still gone."

All went as expected with Doctor Martin arriving about noon still in his traveling clothes. He had arrived on the morning stage only to be notified by Roy Coffee that the Cartwright baby was on its way. He was there to help Rosalie through the last hour of her labor. Adam was pacing downstairs finding that the second birth was nerve wracking. He had been in bed for the first one and under the influence of laudanum. There were a few times that morning that he longed for that especially when he heard Rosalie cry out in pain. Her father was there, and he probably had the same feelings hearing his daughter suffering the pains of labor. Finally they heard a baby's strong wail, and Adam bounded up the steps not waiting for anyone to tell him it was all right. He entered the room to find Minnie wrapping the baby in a soft blanket with the umbilical cord still attached. She placed the baby across Rosalie's chest as Paul called Adam over and had him help cut the cord after Paul had tied it off in two spots. Minnie left then with the soiled linens and towels. Once the placenta was expelled and removed from the room by Hop Sing, Paul told Adam he could go to his wife and son. Paul pulled the door closed to let the family have a quiet time together as he went downstairs to let Ben and Clarence know that they had a grandson. It was Ben's second but it was Clarence's first. Adam and Rosalie could hear him shout for joy even with the door closed.

"Adam, we have a healthy baby. Paul said he looks wonderful."

"Rosalie, I love you, and I love our son. To be honest, I worried if I could love him, but now I know I could no matter what."

"Adam, I had the same fear, but when I felt that baby coming out, I knew I would love him no matter what. Now, do you want to see your son?" Rosalie peeled the blanket away from the baby's face and upper body. He had dark curls, long fingers on the hands at the end of his long arms, and a cute dimple in his left cheek with a soft cleft in the chin. "He's ours, Adam. He's all ours. It's a dream come true."

Epilogue

Ben and Clarence each tried to enter the bedroom at the same time and then both stepped back to allow the other to enter. Adam sat on the bed leaning against the headboard with Rosalie resting against his chest and holding their son as he had an arm around her left shoulder and his right hand resting on the bundle she held. He smiled as he watched his father and father-in-law finally enter the room with Clarence going first to see his first grandchild and Ben to see his second. Rosalie peeled back the blanket so that both of them could see the baby.

"Why, he's the spitting image of Adam as a baby!"

The wonder and delight as well as the relief at that were evident in Ben's voice and in his body as he noticeably relaxed and smiled. With that said, Clarence also smiled for he knew too that their greatest fear had disappeared. He saw the love that Adam and Rosalie had and couldn't congratulate them enough. Finally, even as the rest of the family crowded into the room or stood in the doorway, he asked the question that Ben had been waiting to ask.

"What's the boy's name?"

"Papa, we thought about naming him Adam Benjamin Cartwright, but then his initials would be ABC which seemed silly to us. You told me not to name him after you because you wanted one of the boys to name a son after you. I was tired and told Adam I wanted to sleep and think about it later. He said."

"To sleep, perchance to dream—ay, there's the rub."

"So I asked him who said that, and he said William Shakespeare. Then he said."

"We know what we are, but know not what we may be."

"So, girl, that's all very fine, but what's the baby's name?"

"He has his father's favorite author's name and his grandfather's name too. He's William Benjamin Cartwright, Papa."


End file.
